


The Dawning

by jashykins



Category: Animorphs - Katherine A. Applegate
Genre: Erotica, F/M, M/M, Multi, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-15
Updated: 2016-06-17
Packaged: 2018-02-13 05:27:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 22
Words: 24,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2138694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jashykins/pseuds/jashykins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Ellimist visits Tobias and tells him that in another timeline the Animorphs lose the war. He gives the former Animorph a chance to find the event that changed the course of the war and fix it. Tobias accepts and starts to fight the war a second time with new challenges in his way...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a sequel to my upcoming fic Animorgy (yes, time has no meaning even behind the scenes) but that fic will still come out. It's just that I've been toying around with this idea for awhile and now it and Animorgy are scheduled at two different times.
> 
> To get my work done I multi-task and assign a system of when something is worked on, really long story short.
> 
> Tray (who helped me work out the kinks in this fic and picked out a title) is allowing me to use her OCs Ti, Norpo, and Mary Graham.
> 
> And again: This is based partially on a roleplay I'm doing. I don't roleplay sex, but I will write erotica so...yeah...
> 
> In the roleplay Tobias performed a Frolis maneuver to get an adult body and that body ended up being Mark Ruffalo.
> 
> The roleplay can be found on my tumblr tobiasthenothlit.

“Tobias.” Jake breathed into my mouth as we kissed, our tongues touching each other while our arms were wrapped around each other.  
  
I had recently forgiven Jake. Well…as much as I was willing to at the moment. Which was leaps and bounds where we had been in the past three years.  
  
“Ah.” I moaned loudly as Marco sucked on my cock.  
  
Yeah, I was in a threesome with Marco and Jake. Marco who had recently given up pretending that he was straight. I ran a hand through his hair as my hips went up and down uncontrollably as my lover continued to suck. I was in an open relationship with Marco, hence the threesome.  
  
“Ah!” Jake yelled as I started kissing his neck.  
  
All three of us were sweating and breathing loudly. We were having a workout. I was in my Mark Ruffalo morph, a morph I got with a Frolis maneuver mishap. The actor had given me the okay to use it as long as I made sure other people didn’t think I was him when I used it.  
  
Which included situations like these.  
  
“Jake…” I moaned as I kissed his neck.  
  
Marco let go of my cock as I pushed Jake down onto his back on the bed. I looked down at him and saw me fucking him as a way of dominance. A dominance he enjoyed. A lot.  
  
I put my cock in and started with gentle thrusts. Jake moaned as he tried to push my hips to go faster and faster. But I stayed at a steady pace. His breathing increased and his moans got louder. As this was happening, Marco was kissing Jake’s cum off of my right side.  
  
I finally granted Jake’s wish and went faster and faster. Both of us were now close to orgasm and Marco was taking turns to heavily kiss both of us. Both of us orgasmend around the same time and I jerked Marco off so he came too.  
  
Afterwards all three of us lay on the bed, both of my lovers with their heads on my chest.  
  
“How much time do you have left?” Marco asked and I checked the watch on my wrist.  
  
“Around forty-five minutes left.” I replied. “Let me just use the bathroom and I’ll come back. I’ll demorph when I have to.”  
  
I then walked to the bathroom. One of the many bathrooms in Marco’s mansion. After the war he had gotten rich and used his money to buy things like a mansion. Hell, he even had a butler. I had bought a cabin in the woods with high security and Jake had just bought a normal house.  
  
We had been fucking in a more normal room than the rest of the house. It was my room when I was over by him, which was very often nowadays. It had perches so I could choose where I wanted to be with little problem.  
  
As I peed in the bathroom, a very elegant one, my piss froze in mid-air and then disappeared. My urge to piss was also gone. I could think of only one being that would be doing this, the question was why.  
  
“I won your damn war, Ellimist.” I told the creature that now appeared beside me. “I did my time and now I get to rest.”  
  
“You won the war but another will be lost.” The Ellimist replied.  
  
I looked at the Obi-Wan Kenobi-like figure. The Ellimist appeared human but was like a Jedi ghost in one of the Star Wars movies. A series I tended to avoid as I did all sci-fi things. Unless Marco decided he wanted to watch one. The Ellimist looked like an old man but he had glowing blue skin.  
  
“What do I care?” I asked angrily. “I signed up for one war and one war only.”  
  
“In another timeline you Animorphs lose the war with the Yeerks. I need you to go back and stop that from happening. There is an event that happens that lets the Yeerks win. You need to find it and fix it.” The Ellimist explained.  
  
I wanted to ignore the Ellimist and tell him to go away but, at the same time, I couldn’t imagine a world that was successfully invaded by the Yeerks. The Auxiliaries would either be dead or captured and there would be no Andalite tourists among many other things that I had grown used to.  
  
Ti and Norpo wouldn’t be living like they were if the war had been lost. Norpo was a Yeerk and so would need a safe entrance to the Yeerk pool so he would have to work with the rest of his species. Unless he agreed to die for a rebellion. But I wouldn’t want to ask that of him. He and Ti both meant too much to me.  
  
“But that timeline losing doesn’t affect the one I’m in.” I told the Ellimist. “Even if they lose I’ll still have Marco. For fuck’s sake, I have just started finding peace with Jake. Now you’re telling me I’m going to risk my life again for a timeline that doesn’t matter to me. I’m sorry they lost, but you already asked me to do a lot and I did it.”  
  
“If you complete this task I can pro-“ The Ellimist began but I raised my hand and he shut up.  
  
“I don’t care what you promise me. Whatever deals you make you twist things to your liking.” I said. “You can promise me so many things and yet be lying about the most important part.”  
  
“If you die you will come back to this moment in time and I won’t ask you to do it again.” The Ellimist said. “When you are back in that time you can see Rachel again.”  
  
“But I can’t be with her because I’ll actually be cockblocking myself. And I won’t be able to get with Marco because him and Ax were a real big item then.”  
  
“There have been changes to the group and that is why it is unbalanced. I made a wrong move but you can correct it.”  
  
“Without you breaking your precious rules?”  
  
“Yes. And I will allow you to spend time with your two lovers before you go.”  
  
“How much time?”  
  
“Until the morning.”  
  
I thought about what the Ellimist was asking. On one hand I could save a world and on the other I should not waste my time for something that wouldn’t affect me. But if I could help win the war and help myself prepare for the end…  
  
“I’ll go.” I told the Ellimist.  
  
“One more rule before I allow you to spend your night in peace: you must not tell yourself or anyone else exactly what will happen. You can hint, but you must fix without saying exactly what you know.”  
  
“Okay.” I said and then I was peeing again.  
  
I washed up and then quickly walked back to Jake and Marco, knowing this was my last time seeing either of them for a very long time.  
  
“Hey, To-“ Marco started and then my mouth was on his and my hand was around his cock.  
  
“To-“ Marco said into my mouth and I quickly turned him over with his chest on the bed.  
  
I didn’t give him any time before I put my cock in him and started thrusting much harder than I had ever done before. Marco started moaning loudly so Jake started kissing him. The pair started fondling each other. I had to use my hands to keep myself steady while my mouth kissed his back and then focused on his neck.  
  
We all three orgasmend and then I exited Marco. I lay on the bed and started demorphing.  
  
“I thought you had more time.” Marco said, worried.  
  
 _It will be a long day for me tomorrow._ I told him.  
  
“Why?” Jake asked as Marco lay on his back with me in his arms.  
  
 _The Ellimist. I’m going to go to another timeline to help win the war…again._ I replied and then we all were silent.

The rest of the night we just snuggled with each other. I didn’t like spending my last night with Jake, but I wouldn’t kick him out. It was good to be spending my last night with more than one person at least, the body heat was greatly increased and I liked that.


	2. Chapter 2

“The Ellimist is a dick.” Marco said as he finished explaining what he thought about the Ellimist.  
  
“A total dick.” Jake agreed as he took another sip of his coffee.  
  
I was preening after making a successful kill for my breakfast and we were all gathered in the humble kitchen area. I don’t mean to be sarcastic as there was a main kitchen area that took a few people to man.  
  
“You don’t have to go.” Marco told me again.  
  
 _What if I can help us all out?_ I explained yet again. _What if I can make all our burdens a little easier to bear than before?_  
  
Jake shook his head. Even though we weren’t on good terms, he seemed pained that I was doing this task for the Ellimist. Maybe there was still some human parts of him that were telling him that me going would take too great of a toll on me.  
  
“Why didn’t he ask me to go?” Jake asked, his voice pained. “I was the leader, it should be me going back.”  
  
“The last thing any timeline needs is two Jakes.” Marco said.  
  
“What? And two Tobiases are better?” Jake asked and Marco just looked at his feet.  
  
While Marco liked Jake, he loved me. There was a difference. He, like me, could like and fuck a bunch of people, but his heart belonged only to one person at a time. Or at least it didn’t belong to Jake at the moment. And his heart now belonged to me and my heart belonged to him.  
  
 _Jake is right, the world isn’t yet ready for two of me._ I joked. _I guess I better tell the Ellimist I changed my mind._  
  
This caused Marco to grin and Jake to shake his head.  
  
“Tobias, I give you full rights to get into a relationship with me when you go back.” Marco said, ruffling the feathers on my head.  
  
 _Oh, you think if you said no to that that would stop me?_ I asked and my boyfriend laughed.  
  
“If we can all be serious for a moment,” Jake said and I looked at him. “When are you going, Tobias?”  
  
 _I…I don’t know._ I replied honestly. _I guess whenever would be least convenient for me._  
  
“Yes, that would be like the Ellimist.” Marco agreed.  
  
Both of my lovers from the previous night looked at me as though they expected me to disappear at any moment. Hell, I expected to disappear at any moment myself. Why hadn’t the Ellimist taken me already? Was he really trying to cause me pain or did he think this waiting was kind?  
  
“Never trust blue men.” Jake said.  
  
 _Especially if they have four eyes._ I said.  
  
“The four eyed ones are okay.” Marco said, defending his ex-boyfriend Ax.  
  
Ax and Marco’s relationship wasn’t public knowledge. Marco still didn’t want that relationship known and so I hadn’t told anyone about it. This became really hard to do when Ti was hinting at it and I could say nothing.  
  
Jake shook his head and his mouth opened and I was flying over an abandoned construction site in the day. The thermals were good and I quickly turned away from the place where I had first met my father. The place I had first met my father and then he had quickly died.  
  
Had Elfangor crashed yet, though? Or were I and the others still clueless about the Yeerk Invasion of Earth? I decided to go to school to check if I was still human. If I was still human it would be very early on in our fight or my father hadn’t met me yet.  
  
As I flew over to the school I got a little scared. I knew how bad things had been for me back then. Maybe the Ellimist was right in his decision to give me my morphing power back without making me a human most of the time. But he still should’ve asked me about it.  
  
When I saw the school my flight got slower. I didn’t want to see myself, but it was the only way to be absolutely sure without alerting the others to my presence too soon. I had gone through a lot of physical and mental torture, literal in one case, but seeing myself before the night at the construction site was one of the scariest things I could imagine.  
  
I looked down and saw the students leaving school for the day. The ones that weren’t Controllers were probably thinking normal teenage thoughts and those that had a Yeerk in their heads were probably screaming, wishing for it all to end. Unless the Yeerk was like Aftran or Norpo. Yeerks in the Yeerk Peace Movement didn’t want invasion strategies and cared for their hosts.  
  
For a moment I wanted to turn my flight to go to the mall and see Ti and Norpo. I wanted to see Rachel, but she wouldn’t know who I was just yet. Not until we started to fight the Yeerks.  
  
Looking down I saw a scrawny black haired kid. Even though I couldn’t see his eyes I knew they were blue. He was holding his head down as he was walking away quickly. There were five people following him. The leader of the group was one that had known the boy from another school. One of the schools the boy went to before he had learned to keep the secret. Before he learned that saying you’re bisexual was a big way to increase beatings all on its own.  
  
It wasn’t long before the boy was getting beaten up. It was hard to watch as that boy was me, or who I used to be. How could I have ever been like that? Why didn’t I fight back? I wanted to fly down and help him but I knew I couldn’t.  
  
If I helped him now then he might tell the wrong person. He had no one to turn to right now. He could turn to Jake, but then what if Jake told Tom?  
  
So I watched myself get beaten up and then I flew away to figure out my new territory. I couldn’t have my old territory since my past self would need it.


	3. Chapter 3

I knew I shouldn’t but I followed Rachel anyways. I kept my distance and she didn’t know to look for a red-tailed hawk. So she didn’t notice me and I followed her back home. Circling her house a few times I watched her change and then start on her homework.  
  
This image of Rachel was odd for me as she didn’t have the same appearance as she had during the war. She still had the same body, but the bloodlust she had didn’t yet seep out of her. Not that she was purely a warrior as she was much more than people gave her credit for.  
  
Rachel had loved me until the bitter end and had questioned her bloodlust throughout the war.  
  
So it was strange seeing my former girlfriend without all that baggage. It was also a sad reminder that I couldn’t stop her from becoming who she would be. That whatever happened I couldn’t give clear and concrete information about the future.  
  
I wanted to go inside and warn Rachel about everything, but I couldn’t. So I had to turn away and fly off to continue to look for a new territory. From my time living out in my former territory, I knew where the other territories began and ended.  
  
For awhile I looked around at the places I was familiar with. None of them appealed to me. They all had great hunting grounds but something was missing from them and I couldn’t tell what.  
  
When my inspection took me over Cassie’s barn I looked down and saw a girl I didn’t recognize walk into the barn. She had blonde hair that reached the middle of her back and her outfit was made up of light colors. I didn’t recognize her. For all I knew she was in my timeline and Cassie had never thought to mention her.  
  
It wasn’t like we had all gone over every single person we knew before we became Animorphs. That wouldn’t have been possible as there would be some people we just wouldn’t consider important enough to remember.  
  
So I didn’t take much notice of her and decided that my option was one that I wasn’t too keen on. I wanted to live life as a hawk but that might not be possible. I might have to live life as a human. I didn’t mind having to pretend for a little bit, but the last time I fought the Yeerks it took three years. That meant it would be possible I’d have to live three years pretending to be a human and demorphing every two hours.  
  
I resigned myself to that fact and looked for a donation center and found one. I circled a few times to make sure I wouldn’t be noticed due to it not being very busy. I then landed by the clothing donations and was alert to the fact that someone could come by me at any time.  
  
So I took my time getting a shirt, a pair of jeans, tennis shoes, and a hoodie to a roof top nearby. Nearly getting noticed once or twice. I didn’t want to display the human morph until I had a good cover. Hanging out with Marco and Ax would pay off with the hacking skills I could now do. Oh the lies I could tell now.  
  
After what seemed like years I was ready to morph. As I morphed Ruffalo I gained his height before any other changes were done. Then my wings and legs turned into the basic shapes of human legs and arms while still retaining a very hawk-like look.  
  
Every part of me I could see turned into human limbs while still retaining feathers until the very end. The last change I could see was my toes turning from a gold color to white.  
  
I knew there were problems with morphing Ruffalo, but I felt comfortable in this morph and right now I was very scared of fighting the war for a second time while being all alone. There would be no one here that I could tell everything to. I was alone.  
  
I put the dark thoughts from my mind and put on the clothes I had stolen. I would pay the place back when I could. But right now I needed to get to an apartment.  
  
Getting down from the rooftop was easy. I had done things like this a lot and practice had given me a useful talent. I also knew that the apartment I wanted to visit first was in this building. Even though I had carefully planned my steps, I acted like I was lost to anyone who saw me walking down the hallways.  
  
When I got to the door I wanted, I knocked and waited. I grew nervous. This was beyond stupid but I wanted to do it anyway. I needed some small bits of comfort. The Ellimist could yell at me later.  
  
“What do you want?” Ti asked as she opened the door, a frown on her face.  
  
She was wearing a white top and lacy panties that were a lovely shade of pink. I could tell that she had been expecting someone else, maybe an annoying neighbor, and her expression changed in an instant once she saw me.  
  
“Er…uh…” She said and I smiled.  
  
“I’m looking for the landlord.” I said, telling a half-truth. “I’m looking for a room.”  
  
Looking at her I had to control my urges. I knew it would be so easy to push her into the room, then the door as we both didn’t care as it slammed shut, move the pesky panties away with my fingers, and then plunge then into her.  
  
Ti had noticed my eyes looking at her body as I saw her nipples harden.  
  
“Come on in.” She said.  
  
I entered as Ti closed the door. Then she went into her room. That probably meant that Norpo wasn’t in her head and she wanted him in for some reason. Maybe to control her? As fast as she had gone into her room she was back out.  
  
She hadn’t changed her clothing.  
  
“Sorry.” Ti said, her voice more confident. “I wasn’t expecting Mark Ruffalo to appear.”  
  
“I’m not Mark, he’s my twin. I’m Andrew Clint Ruffalo.” I said trying not to look at how close she was getting to me.  
  
My control was starting to go away. But that had been the plan, right? To lose control and find peace in this timeline?  
  
“I like to stay out of the spotlight so you haven’t heard of me.” I told her and smiled at her grin.  
  
“So Clint like Clint Eastwood?” Ti said and took my hand. “Or how about Andy?”  
  
Goddammit! Why had I allowed her a chance to call me my alias and then nickname? Fuck!  
  
I could go off about how I didn’t want Andy to be used and try to have her call me Clint instead. But that would be useless. I couldn’t show her how annoyed her calling me Andy made me. When Ti wanted to annoy you she would and nothing could stop her. So I did the only thing that made sense to me at the moment.  
  
I pushed her against the nearest wall and my lips met hers. She replied with a moan and returned my kiss. Her arms wrapped around my neck as my right hand pushed her panties aside. She bit my neck lightly as my fingers entered her.  
  
Ti was already wet which made my job easier. I knew she was a big girl and so my fingering of her was rough.  
  
“Ooooh! Ann…” Ti said as she muffled her moans by biting my neck.  
  
As I was pleasuring her she managed to get my hoodie and shirt off of me. She put her face onto my chest and started kissing it. She felt my chest with her fingers and mouth. Ti shivered announcing that she was about to climax and I pushed my fingers as deep inside of her as I could when she did.  
  
Ti stood there breathlessly and a sly grin graced my face.  
  
“What about my room?” She asked and my reply was to take off her shirt.  
  
“It will do for now…” I said and grabbed both of her tits hard.  
  
Ti let out a moan. I kneeled in front of her, took off her panties, and then kissed her pussy. She grabbed onto my head, expecting me to eat her out.  
  
I stood up and shook my head. I started to undo my jeans and she stopped me. She took them off for me as well as my footwear. She did so quickly and without too much thought. At the end she lightly kissed my cock.  
  
Then Ti was up and pushing me into the bedroom. She pushed me down onto the bed and then slowly climbed on top of me. Looking at her all excited reminded me of the care free times with her. Not only when we fucked, but also times when we both managed to forget all the horrible truths of the world.  
  
Ti slowly lowered herself onto my cock and held my hands over my head. I wouldn’t be able to touch her. She was a good girl in all the right ways.  
  
Before I could think much else she was riding me. I started moaning and bit my lip to try to try to control myself. But then Ti’s mouth was kissing my neck and I let out a loud moan.  
  
“Ah!” I moaned and then turned the tables so I was on top of her.  
  
I groped her breasts as I increased the speed and force of my thrusts. I kissed, sucked, and bit her tits. We both were moaning and breathing heavily. I kissed her and yelled into her mouth as I came. Then I exited her and lay on my back.  
  
Ti put her head on my chest.  
  
“So,” She asked. “How long are you staying here?”  
  
It was then I was brought fully back to reality. Ti and Norpo didn’t know me. What if they thought it was wrong what I had done once they knew who I was? Or maybe Ti would think it was erotic?  
  
As I looked into her face I realized those questions could wait. Right now I had found comfort in her and she was pleased by me.  
  
“Well,” I said, pretending to think. “You’ve convinced me to stay.”


	4. Chapter 4

I was riding the thermals a little after noon. I looked down at the people below me and also kept an eye out for myself. I didn’t know how quickly things would proceed this time around and so Past Me might be flying for the first time.  
  
Flying was one of the most amazing things I had ever experienced and I couldn’t wait for Past Me to fly for the first time.  
  
A few hours ago I had started to walk out of my apartment and had run into Ti. The newspaper she had been holding had talked about teenagers that had been playing with fireworks in an abandoned construction site.  
  
So today was the day I’d go visit Marco. I wanted to visit him because I knew Rachel would be too emotional. So if I went to Rachel first there would be two emotional people trying to figure out how we should interact in this timeline.  
  
But Marco would have a much clearer head than either me or Rachel. For better or worse he could see the way from Point A to Point B in a clear manner. He could see so clearly that he could disregard personal feelings to understand how things could get done.  
  
I waited a little bit longer and just rode on the thermals thinking about what I would tell him. I wouldn’t tell him about me getting stuck in hawk morph since…well…that was a pretty big thing about me. I trusted Marco, but I had to follow the rules the Ellimist had set up. I would have to lie to my closet friends just to make sure humanity won.  
  
And what would Ti and Norpo think once they found out about me? How I basically used Ti as a booty call. I didn’t want Ti angry at me. I pushed those thoughts to the back of my mind and focused on what I would tell Marco.  
  
I landed on his roof and waited for him to get back home. As I saw him walking up I started getting really nervous. When he entered his home I started circling around and called out his name. A few minutes later he opened his window and let me fly in.  
  
I landed on his bed and started to morph my usual human self.  
  
“Wait…you’re morphing? And why are you visiting me?” Marco asked and I had to remind myself that right now he was reluctant.  
  
It wouldn’t be until he saw his mother as Visser One that he would fully join in the fight until the bitter end.  
  
“Yeah,” I replied. “You’ll morph too. But both of us never make it look pretty. Only one that does is Cassie.”  
  
Marco just stared at me at me. I knew what I had said sounded confusing. I had meant it to.  
  
“How do you know what Cassie morphing looks like? You, me, Jake, Cassie, Rachel, and Mary haven’t met up since last night at the abandoned construction site where the alien crashed.” Marco said.  
  
Mary? Who was Mary? She was a change from the group I had fought beside. But she wasn’t an event, so getting rid of her wasn’t the way to go. I wouldn’t have killed her, just removed her from the situation so I could go back home.  
  
“When Elfangor crashed there wasn’t a Mary.” I told him. “I’m…er…from the future of another timeline where we won the war.”  
  
“So we win?” Marco asked. “Do I really fight this insane war?”  
  
“I was sent back to make sure we win again. You do fight. I would tell you why but the being that brought me back said I couldn’t tell you anything clearly.”  
  
Marco just shook his head, not believing what I had said. Hell, I wouldn’t have believed it if our roles had been reversed.  
  
“So why did you come to me? Why not Jake?” Marco asked and it took all of my control to not start ranting about the boy.  
  
“In the future you and I are boyfriends.” I told him. “I was with Rachel but…things didn’t work out. As for Jake…I recently made up with him. But not to the point I’d want to see him first thing. I came to you because…you’d know what to do about Rachel. And you wouldn’t be as emotional as Rachel or me.”  
  
“Uh, dude, I’m straight.” Marco said and I just stared at him.  
  
I was used to him denying it in the past and knew what he sounded like when he did. But Marco sounded honest. It sounded like he was telling the truth.  
  
“Wait…you’re serious?” I asked and shook my head to try and clear it.  
  
Being able to find comfort in Marco was one of the good things I thought I would have. But now I had found out that he couldn’t be mine because he was straight. The second love of my life couldn’t be mine. And Rachel couldn’t be mine.  
  
“Oh.” I finally said as Marco just looked at me.  
  
“You can still go over to Jake if you want.” Marco said. “You can catch him up on the news of your time travel. And maybe you two can finally get together. It’s killing me seeing you two do a ‘maybe, maybe not’ thing.”  
  
“Wait…what about Jake and Cassie?” I asked confused.  
  
“What about them? They’re really good friends but it’s not like Jake is going to do anything with her. He’s gay.” He said and laughed. “Now you and him is a totally different story. He saved your ass, well technically head, from some bullies and it was like you were going to be a couple. Jake admitted to me that he fucked you once but then you two never became official.”  
  
“Probably because I was confused about what to think about him. Sort of jealous of this version of me doing him before we started fighting.” I said, blushing slightly. “And I wouldn’t want to blare too loudly that I’m bisexual either.”  
  
“Yeah, Jake is probably respecting you but it’s killing me that you two aren’t together. Not that I really care, but I have to deal with that bastard moaning about you all the goddamn time.”  
  
I smiled as Marco would never reveal how much he cared. At least not right now and not to me.  
  
“Well me and Rachel will be getting together.” I said, my grin quickly going away. “I wanted to talk to you about that but…I’m used to another version of you. Listen, I don’t want to distract the rest of the group from going on their first mission. It is important and what happens…well, it leaves an impact. I just don’t want any of you to die.”  
  
“Especially me and Rachel. I’ll keep your secret, not that any of the others will believe me.” Marco said slowly. “But you’ll be there to help us out?”  
  
“Yeah, I’ll try to time things correctly.” I said and got up, demorphing as I did so.  
  
“So why do I decide to join in fighting the Yeerks?” Marco asked and I looked back at him.  
  
 _I think part of you wants to protect our sorry asses._ I replied after I completely demorphed. _And you find someone that makes it impossible for you not to fight._  
  
“Bullshit.” He said under his breath as I left his room.  
  
When I gained enough altitude I circled around his house once and then headed back to my new apartment. While flying I wanted to think about how I couldn’t be with Rachel or Marco and Jake probably wanted to fuck me again.  
  
But I couldn’t be thinking about who I would and wouldn’t fuck at the moment. I couldn't be thinking about relatively easy things to speculate on. I had to prepare to go back down into the Yeerk pool.


	5. Chapter 5

The Yeerk pool held a lot of memories for me. My first mission as an Animorph was to try and free the people there, especially Tom, and I had even gone down there outside of my Animorph duties. Long story short, Norpo had needed a way in and I provided it to him. He had discovered that I wasn’t an Andalite then and only much later had revealed the information to Ti.  
  
In all my experiences at the Yeerk pool, none had been pleasant and now I was back in the hellish place again. I had snuck in using an insect morph and was now in a tight corner in my hawk morph until the rest of the Animorphs arrived to unleash their doomed attack.  
  
One of the worst things about being down here was the screams stopping. The people would stop screaming once the Yeerk was able to fully take over. People were trapped in their own bodies and had to watch as an alien slug controlled their movements.  
  
After waiting a little bit, I heard Tom start to yell out. I had to do my best not to grip too hard with my talons or give any indication I was here when I heard Jake’s older brother yell. I remembered he had died and that Jake was never able to save him.  
  
Waiting is the worst part of fighting because it gives you time to think. It gives you time to think of everything that could go wrong. It gave me time to think about seeing myself before I got myself stuck in morph. Part of me thought I would yell at him to not do it and the other half couldn’t imagine not living the majority of life as hawk. Maybe the Ellimist had been right in his decision of how he gave me my morphing power back.  
  
But he still should’ve been more straightforward about it.  
  
With my hawk eyes I could see Cassie being taken down to the pool. In my mind I focused on the Hork-Bajir that had a Yeerk in her head now but would eventually be freed. I moved and counted on the chaos my friends would cause to hide me.  
  
I was very careful to look for another red-tailed hawk as I didn’t want to be noticed. I heard Rachel’s laugh and knew it was show time.  
  
When I started to morph Ket Halpak, my feathers disappeared and were replaced by green skin. Then I rose and my wrist blades came out and my talons changed.  
  
When my hawk vision dimmed to Hork-Bajir vision, my hearing increased. I was able to hear people screaming much clearer even when I couldn’t see as well. I concentrated on finishing my morph even while hearing the screams of pain.  
  
Once the morph was completed, I looked around to see where my friends were.  
  
Even though me being sent back was about finding the event, I still cared about my friends. ‘What if’ questions had flooded my mind as I slept and waited for this night. I didn’t think the Ellimist would like if I interfered, though.  
  
But, then again, the Ellimist interfered a lot. He just had rules. Maybe if I got rules of my own any slight changes I made wouldn’t be bad. Or, if they were bad, I couldn’t be to blame.  
  
With those thoughts in my mind I raced down to where Cassie was so that I could give Jake time to try and save his brother. What if Tom was freed? What if Tom didn’t have to live the rest of his life trapped in his own head? What if?  
  
I quickly ran into a Hork-Bajir Controller who could tell I wasn’t one of theirs. This was probably due to me not having a Dracon beam. As he raised his weapon at me, I sliced at him with my wrist blades and kicked at him in the stomach.  
  
This threw him off balance but didn’t knock him over. I grabbed his Dracon beam and shot him. He slowly fell over and died. I knew the actual Hork-Bajir was innocent, but the Yeerk wasn’t. Or maybe the Yeerk was like Norpo and Aftran. But I couldn’t afford to think like that right now.  
  
I turned and saw Cassie getting much closer to the infestation pier. Now was the time.  
  
 _Worry about your brother!_ I yelled when I saw Jake in tiger morph. _I’ll get Cassie!_  
  
By Jake was a snow leopard. None of us had used that morph before. That must be Mary.  
  
 _Who are you?_ Jake asked as I saw his eyes following me, when I turned back to look for a second, as I raced down towards Cassie.  
  
 _Too long to explain. After we all get out of here I’ll tell you._  
  
I looked up and saw…me. I saw myself in all my arrogance of thinking becoming stuck in morph was the way to escape. I had been wrong. I turned away from Past Me and worried that he had figured me out in that brief glance. But he said nothing to me and I continued on my way to Cassie.  
  
As I was a lot more comfortable using my blades to fight, I only used the Dracon beam when I absolutely had to. And I had to use a combination of the two just to get to Cassie as Hork-Bajir and Taxxons alike were finding me very interesting.  
  
I shot the Hork-Bajir in the legs as Cassie was able to get free and start to morph. She looked at me, surprised.  
  
“I’m a friend.” I told her. “I’ll explain once we get out.”  
  
A Taxxon started to come at us but I shot it before it could get too close to us. This caused a few Taxxons to be distracted for a little bit by fresh meat.  
  
“You idiots!” The policeman that had brought Cassie to the Yeerk pool yelled. “Goddamn Andalite!”  
  
He yelled at me and then looked confused at Cassie. But she finished her morph before he thought to raise his gun and she did something that many people would think she wouldn’t do. Well, not without thinking about it first.  
  
She ran at the policeman and kicked at him with her front hooves. A few seconds later and he was dead. While I wanted to just look at her killing the man I couldn’t. I had to focus on the other guards.  
  
“I won’t tell.” I said to her and pointed to where the other Animorphs were going. “We need to leave now.”  
  
She nodded with her horse head and we raced for the others. I saw Tom by Jake and then Tom tripped.  
  
 _I’ll get him, don’t worry._ I told Jake, knowing how hard leaving his brother was at the moment.  
  
Even though it was hard, Jake turned away and raced up the stairs. But every now and again he would look back to make sure I was keeping my word.  
  
I helped an old woman onto Cassie and then raced for Tom. I had to help him get out alive and we had to do all this before Vi-  
  
And then he appeared. I turned my mind away from his thought-speak as I helped Tom up. I could see Tom shiver but there was strength in that boy. Strength that would be better served if he wasn’t a Controller. As I lifted him up, one of Visser Three’s fireballs burned my arm off. The Andalite Controller had morphed the same monstrous morph as the first time I had been in this situation.  
  
 _AH!_ I yelled out and clutched at the stump before remembering what I had to do.  
  
A half second later I looked for Tom and saw him heading towards Visser Three with my Dracon beam.  
  
“Go with the other bandits!” Tom yelled back at me. “These things need to be stopped!”  
  
“No!” I yelled out and heard Jake yell right before he launched himself at Visser Three.  
  
I had failed him. I had failed Tom. In that moment the realization of how strong Tom really was hit home. He was willing to die to give me a chance at living and stopping the Yeerks. He knew that the Yeerks had to be stopped and that I was much better equipped at fighting them.  
  
But I couldn’t focus on Tom’s bravery, I had to focus on getting out alive.  
  
Through my pain I rushed up the stairs and raced out of the Yeerk pool. I would’ve demorphed like the other were doing, minus Cassie with the old woman on her back, but hawks aren’t runners and I didn’t want to die. Especially after the huge risk that Tom had taken.  
  
After Jake was done manically attacking Visser Three’s morph, I exited the Yeerk pool. Upon exiting my former school I looked at the others. They just looked at me as they demorphed and so they missed Past Me leaving the school. Not that they had noticed in my past. They wouldn’t know for a long time, if ever, that I had purposefully stuck myself in morph.  
  
The old woman got off of Cassie, petted her head, and then walked away quickly. Cassie then demorphed and watched the old woman go away before looking at me.  
  
As we all looked at each other I wondered whether or not I should reveal myself. Marco looked at me and kept his mouth shut.


	6. Chapter 6

The wound that I had suffered from Visser Three’s attack was causing a lot of pain. I think the pain level was just slightly below Hellish. But through all this pain I had to debate revealing myself or not. While this Marco didn’t love me like my Marco did, he kept his mouth shut.  
  
This left it up to me to decide how to react. Should I tell them?  
  
Looking at Rachel I knew I had to tell them. I was seeing her alive again and now she was looking at me. Even if she wasn’t looking at me as though I were trustworthy, at least she was alive to distrust me.  
  
“I can explain.” I said, steeling myself against the pain. “I was sent here to help you win. You lose because of an event, but the being that sent me needs me to figure it out.”  
  
“So are you going to explain?” Rachel asked, crossing her arms.  
  
Marco and I both looked to see if any Controllers were coming out. I think both of us were well aware this conversation was going to have to be short.  
  
I started to demorph and the first thing to happen was my Hork-Bajir arms becoming wing-shaped. I saw Marco hold back a grimace as I started to shrink in size and my wrist-blades seemed to be sucked into my hawk body.  
  
Once I was fully in my usual red-tailed hawk morph I looked at Rachel. I wanted to know what she would say.  
  
“Tobias?” Rachel asked as a single tear went down her cheek, one tear that had escaped her control. “You’re…you’re a hawk.”  
  
 _I…got stuck in morph._ I started to explain. _The same being that sent me to this time gave me my morphing ability back. He also sent me back in time to acquire myself so I can become who I used to be for two hours at a time._  
  
“But why not become trapped as yourself?” Rachel had just asked a question she had asked a lot before I saw her die. It was a painful reminder of my Rachel.  
  
 _The sky._ I told her, telling her part of the truth. _Flying…it’s something else._  
  
“We can discuss this some other time.” Marco said, his nervousness becoming more obvious. “Controllers might come here and I’m pretty sure that won’t be good. I can’t die before I see the new Star Wars movie. Natalie Portman will be offended if I don’t.”  
  
I had to hold back telling him that the movie wouldn’t be well received. I wouldn’t reveal anything important about the future by saying that, but it would waste time. Time that may or may not be running out.  
  
Jake looked at me and he had a confused expression on his face. He was the leader. He was the one that had to make the call. I also saw something in his eyes that was different from the Jake I knew. Probably because the Jake I knew didn’t have a big crush on me.  
  
“We’ll have a meeting in a few days.” Jake finally decided. “Marco’s right, this isn’t the time and place to be discussing this.”  
  
“Where are you staying?” Rachel asked.  
  
 _In an apartment. I’ll follow you back home. Well, not all the way as flying at night is difficult._ I told her.  
  
“Can you have your heart to heart some other time?” Marco asked with an exaggerated groan.  
  
I noticed that Mary turned away from looking at Marco while biting her lower lip. Were they a couple? Or were they courting like my Jake and Cassie had? Not actually officially becoming a couple until a little ways into the war?  
  
Whatever the case, we all agreed on a time and day to meet up at the barn.  
  
I took to the night sky and found it annoying as always to try and move. Flying at night was like…well, like taking away someone’s inhaler for a week and asking them to breathe normally. Not good.  
  
But I managed to keep a small distance between Rachel and myself. I wouldn’t be able to hear her or see her mouth move, but I figured I could speak first and when we parted ways she could speak. Rachel and I had been a couple for a long time and I could read her body language pretty well.  
  
 _I didn’t stay a hawk because I hated you, Rachel, I would never want you to hate me._ I said. _The Tobias you know will probably do stupid things because we’re used to being abused. Some of those plans may make you try to hate us, but we never hate you._  
  
I watched as Rachel attempted to keep hidden in the woods as she didn’t yet have a bird morph. Some things might’ve changed in this timeline, but if Rachel could morph Bald eagle now she would’ve been in morph already. She wasn’t.  
  
 _I stayed a hawk because I needed to continue the fight._ I told her. _And after the war…Rachel, we…we weren’t together. I was lost and confused and becoming trapped in my human morph was out of the question._  
  
I saw Rachel pause for a moment and then she continued walking. I wanted to reassure her that it wasn’t because we stopped loving each other, but because had she died. She died because Jake sent her on a suicide mission.  
  
Finally we were near the edge of the small patch of woods and I landed on a tree branch above her.  
  
“Why?” Rachel asked. “What does the war do to me? Why do I stop loving you? Or don’t we love each other as much?”  
  
Now she was asking direct questions. I wasn’t like the Ellimist who could be deceptive as fuck when he wanted to be, which was nearly all the time. Plus, this was Rachel. Rachel who I had seen die and now was given a second chance with her.  
  
 _I…I was told not to tell you exacts about the future._ I told her sadly and bowed my head. _All I can say is that we both loved each other but something happened. So just enjoy your time with Past Me._  
  
I saw Rachel grimace.  
  
“So when I see my Tobias again, will he be a hawk?”  
  
I nodded my head.  
  
“See you at the meeting or sooner?” Rachel asked after a minute.  
  
 _I can see you sooner, but I really don’t want to cockblock the other me. And the full story deserves a lengthy telling._ I told her and then took off as she waved at me.  
  
As I flew back to the apartment I felt extremely guilty. Rachel deserved the truth. But what if one of the many changes that I could manage was to make her live at the end? Not so that I’d be able to live with her, but so that she could live after the war? Would that make it up to her?  
  
When my apartment came into sight I decided that it would make it up for lying to her tonight. For lying to her and the others during this war.


	7. Chapter 7

“You’re getting weird glances, Andy.” Ti said, emphasizing the word Andy which made me angry about what I had chosen as an alias.  
  
I looked around the bus and used one hand to lower my baseball cap. My other arm was around a large piece of wood I’d soon carve into a perch. I’d make it appear like I was doing something artistic when, in reality, I was giving myself an excuse to have a comfortable seat for myself in my apartment.  
  
“Yeah.” I said, a little embarrassed.  
  
Why the Hell had I decided my Ruffalo morph would be a good one to use? I was nineteen years old, I should have known better.  
  
“Well at least I know you’re all mine.” Ti teased.  
  
“Oh, when did we become exclusive?” I asked.  
  
Then we both burst out laughing and then stopped when a bunch of people started to look at us strangely.  
  
I had made sure to tell Ti and Norpo part of the truth. That I could just be friends and have sex with them. I found myself always needing a boyfriend or girlfriend to anchor me down, but sex was different than love for me. Ti hadn’t minded, I don’t think she was ready to settle down.  
  
“Hmm…” Ti said and ran her hand down the front of my pants.  
  
My cock started to harden and she smiled at me.  
  
“Not fair.” I said and rubbed the front of her pants.  
  
She responded just like I wanted her to. Her hips flexed forward and I kissed her deeply. She moaned into my mouth as I continued to rub. She put her hands down my pants and started jerking me off. I came to my senses and looked at people looking away.  
  
I stopped kissing her and whispered into her ear, “Maybe we should continue this later.”  
  
“Later?” She asked and then pulled the string that told the bus driver to stop at the next stop. “How about sooner?”  
  
I just shook my head and when the bus stopped I got up as quickly as possible. Getting my wood out of the bus was a little hard as it was large and oddly shaped. I couldn’t get a normal one as then the actual purpose would be too obvious to others. At least now I could pretend it just happened to look like a perch.  
  
Once we were out of the bus, we quickly raced to a McDonald’s that was close by.  
  
We tried to nonchalantly go into the single stall restroom. But I felt as if my excitement radiated off of me. Norpo was probably in Ti’s head keeping the human calm. I smirked as I shut the door and put the wood off to the side.  
  
Ti was already breathing heavily as she leaned against a wall. Her tits rose and fell as she breathed. I rushed over to her and my mouth was on hers. Her hands quickly undid my pants as one of my hands went underneath her panties and felt her ass, squeezing it hard. My other hand went underneath her bra and squeezed her nipple.  
  
She gasped and then I moaned as she squeezed my cock.  
  
As she continued to squeeze, I knew I wanted to be in her now. I wanted to escape and her pussy was the way out. It would have to be the way out.  
  
I quickly pulled her pants down and she laughed.  
  
“You’re a little feisty today.” Ti said with a smirk.  
  
“Well, I just realized fucking in a public restroom is…nice.” I replied with a smile as I slowly entered her.  
  
I had my thrusts begin slow and gently. She held onto my back and moaned, trying to make me go faster. But I continued going slow just to hear her moans getting louder and louder. It seemed to make it harder for her to keep quiet.  
  
As her nails dug into my back, I finally increased the speed of my thrusts. Her mouth went to my neck and kissed it. She bit my neck as she came and I smiled.  
  
I turned her around and slapped her ass. I hadn’t come and I needed to. So I went quickly into her ass and my hands went underneath her bra and started fondling her breasts. I wished we weren’t in a public place so I could take her bra off and start sucking on her tits.  
  
I grasped her tits hard in my frustration and my thrusts became even quicker. Both of us started to moan softly and it felt like utter hell to keep quiet.  
  
I gave one final thrust inside of her and came. But afterwards I still stayed inside of her. I didn’t want to move and leave. I didn’t want to fight another war, I wanted to stay lost with her.

  
“Now it’s awkward.” Ti said lightly and I exited her.  
  
I pulled my pants back up and looked at her.  
  
“Have you ever done it in a public restroom before?” I asked.  
  
Ti’s reply was to smile and leave the restroom after we both had our pants up.


	8. Chapter 8

I had started to carve the perch. I had decided on dinosaurs and birds being on it. Very slowly an actual perch like structure was appearing. Made slower by the fact that I had to demorph every two hours and then take a break so I didn’t wear myself out.  
  
I was currently in hawk morph on the couch while I listened to the news. Nothing big had happened, well nothing could ever top the Yeerk invasion of Earth, and so I had nothing to do. In a few days I’d be meeting with the other Animorphs.  
  
What would it be like to see them again? Rachel would be the hardest to face. Not being able to tell her of her impending doom unless I did something.  
  
Ti was away at work for the day and I was bored. As I thought about who I could visit, I remembered my Mom. After the war I hadn’t spent much time with her because I found hanging out with her to be useless. It was odd having a mother that didn’t remember your father and you didn’t really have a connection to.  
  
I realized that I had wanted something that just wasn’t there. And that wasn’t fair to either of us.  
  
I didn’t like my mother talking badly about a father I hardly knew. But maybe this was my chance to talk to her without having to involve Elfangor. Maybe if I tried talking to her during this time, when I was returned I would know how to talk to her.  
  
Not finding any better option, I morphed my regular human self and opened the window. After I demorphed I flew off. I preferred using flight as a means of travel. The bus was only good to make Ti and others think I was human.  
  
I left the tv on so I could use the lie that I had been watching tv all day to anyone who asked.  
  
As I flew over the city I took in the joys that only flying could give me. A rush so pure and complete that nothing could compare to it. Not fucking, not alcohol, not love itself. I turned and saw Past Me flying. Past Me who wasn’t used to being a hawk yet and was regretting his mistake.  
  
 _Hi._ He said.  
  
 _Hi._ I replied and then we parted ways.  
  
It was odd seeing him, seeing me. Having all the memories of my first few days rushing back to me. It would be beyond hellish for him to deal with the feelings I remembered experiencing. I should fly to him and tell him how things would get better. But that would be a damn lie, wouldn’t it?  
  
Should I also tell him about being tortured and how Jake would decide to send his girlfriend on a suicide mission? How much could I tell him before I started telling him everything?  
  
I couldn’t risk it so I continued flying to Loren’s apartment. I flew around it a few times wondering what I should say. How I should say it.  
  
I finally decided to land a little distance away where no one would be looking. I had changed my morphing outfit to look like more of a jogging outfit. It wouldn’t matter to my mother, but it would matter to those looking.  
  
I walked slowly to her apartment and grew extremely worried as I got closer and closer. When I approached the first step I paused. Was it wrong of me to lie to my mother? Did it matter?  
  
I knocked on the door and each knock seemed to take centuries.  
  
“Hold on!” I heard my mom yell out as she came to the door.  
  
If I had been a normal kid, I would’ve been more than joyful at hearing my mother’s voice. I would’ve been happy to know that the one who had birthed me was about to see me. But I wasn’t. I was nervous. I wasn’t like the kids who had been raised with a sense of family.  
  
My family had been my fellow Animorphs. Cassie had been my mom, Jake my overbearing and sexy dad, Ax the odd uncle, Marco the joking brother, and Rachel my crazy girlfriend. My family had never included an actual mother and father. My family had always been my friends.  
  
“Hi, do you need something?” My mother asked and Champ tried to get by her. “Stop. For fuck’s sake, Champ, sit.”  
  
Champ sat down quickly and looked up at my mother as he wagged his tail. He was probably really sad that she had implied he was a bad dog. So he was trying to show her that he was a good dog. A very good dog. The bestest dog to ever be found.  
  
“Um, yeah.” I told her, chickening out. “Um…I need to use the phone.”  
  
My mother pointed me in the right direction and I went to the phone. Who to call? Who to say hi to? I couldn’t just go into her apartment and expect her to be fine with it. If I didn’t call someone she would think I was some kind of creep and never allow me back in.  
  
As I picked up the phone I wondered who to call. Rachel or Jake. I decided on Rachel as Tom might overhear the conversation. It wouldn’t be good to end this Jake’s life for something my Jake did. Of course I didn’t want to kill my Jake as I had started to become friendly towards him again.  
  
“Rachel?” I asked when someone picked up the phone.  
  
“Tobias?” Rachel asked and I heard pain in her voice.  
  
I wasn’t her Tobias and she was worried about hers. Maybe wondering when I…HE would get his morphing power back. If he would also decide to remain a hawk after the war.  
  
“Yeah,” I said, trying to keep calm as I heard her alive again. “Just checking up. Wondering if you had anything planned for tonight.”  
  
“A friend is coming over.” She replied and somehow I knew that someone was Past Me.  
  
“Maybe in a few days.” I said and hung up.  
  
Hearing Rachel’s voice was a beautiful sadness since I knew I could never be with her again. But I could save her, I could do that.  
  
“Thanks.” I told my mother and left knowing I’d be back again.


	9. Chapter 9

Today was the day. I spread open my wings on my barely made perch. It would be a good perch once it was completed. But, for now, it would do. It felt better to sleep on this perch than it did to in my bed. I remembered Marco and myself snuggling up together, me in hawk morph, in my cabin by the mountain lake.  
  
Being without him felt lonely. Why had I agreed to the Ellimist’s request? I could be spending my days and nights with Marco. I could feel his touch again. I could feel his mouth on mine, telling me to calm down.  
  
I went out of the apartment in my Ruffalo morph and took the bus as close to Cassie’s barn as I could. I took a deep breath as I thought about all that would happen. Three years of Hell and I’d be back to peace, even if these Animorphs lost the war.

I knocked on the barn door and a surprised Cassie opened the door.  
  
“Cassie?” I asked, a smile on my face.  
  
“Yes?” Cassie said and looked at me. “Tobias?”  
  
“Long story how I got this morph.” I said as I didn’t want to explain to her how it had happened.  
  
“You’re a few hours early. The others haven’t arrived yet.”  
  
“I’ll just wait.” I said and went into the barn and took off my clothes.  
  
I demorphed and turned to see Cassie staring at me.  
  
“You’re hiding out as Mark Ruffalo?” She asked after I had finished demorphing.  
  
 _I tried to do a frolis maneuver and it went wrong._ I flew up to my usual spot and looked down at her, deciding to tell her part of the truth. _It’s when you combine DNA of two or more members of the same species._  
  
Cassie nodded and then started to do what she normal did at the barn. It was comforting to see a Cassie not fully changed by the war yet. It was good to see her taking care of all the animals that were hurt. Everything was simplistic for her right now and I wished I could keep it that way for her.  
  
I wished I could keep all my friends innocent.  
  
A few hours later and the others started arriving. First was Past Me who flew in to perch right next to me. We looked at each other oddly for a few moments, but then we turned as one to see Marco enter followed by Mary who tried to act like it was an accident that she arrived around the same time as him. Rachel entered a few minutes after Jake.  
  
It was odd to see the group without Ax there. But he’d come later and become an important part of the group.  
  
“So,” Jake said once we were all settled. “We’re all here to discuss you, Future Tobias.”  
  
How he looked at me I could tell that he wanted me to be good. That he wanted me to be the Tobias he knew. I didn’t know if I could put what I knew about him behind me to allow for that.  
  
 _I was brought back from the future to help fight the war again._ I started. _But it’s not your future, not exactly. In that future I lived but if I die this time I’ll just be sent to my future. I was pulled through time by a being known as the Ellimist. I’ve been sent to find out why you lose this time and fix it._  
  
“So this being is pretty powerful, god-like if he can just casually mess with time, but he needs you to go back in time to find out something he doesn’t? What? Did Jake die in your time?” Marco asked.  
  
 _No, he didn’t._ I said as Jake let out a sigh of relief. _I don’t know why he chose me over him._  
  
“So who is this Ellimist?” Jake asked.  
  
 _There is one big rule I have to follow: I can’t tell you exactly what happens. What I can tell you is that you encounter him in the future._ I replied.  
  
 _You can’t even tell me what happens?_ Past Me asked.  
  
 _No, I’m sorry._ I replied.  
  
Past Me started to preen himself and I knew that he was in confusion about whether he wanted to know his future or not. I know I’d be scared to know what exactly happened to me in the future. But, at the same time, I’d want to know.  
  
And, right now, I’d want to know that this task that the Ellimist sent me on wasn’t in vain.  
  
 _Mary wasn’t in my future, past, or present._ I said.  
  
“So am I the event?” Mary asked with fear in her voice.  
  
 _I don’t know. I don’t think the Ellimist would make my task that easy._  
  
Mary smiled and bit her lower lip. She was really nervous. Maybe she was the event just because it didn’t seem like she’d last that long.  
  
“So will you be able to help us at all?” Rachel asked.  
  
 _Yes, I will._ I told her, reminding myself that this would all be worth it to have her alive after the war.  
  
“Will you be able to tell us anything?” Cassie asked.  
  
 _As long as it isn’t exactly what will happen in the future, I don’t see why not._ I told her.  
  
“And will you go back to your future if things get too hard?” Jake asked.  
  
 _If I die?_ I asked.  
  
“He’s already fought one war.” Cassie said, looking at Jake. “It wouldn’t be fair to ask if he’ll give himself fully to this one.”  
  
I was glad Cassie had said that as I didn’t know which way I’d go. I didn’t know if I’d ask the Ellimist to send me back or not. I had risked more than enough the first time, but they were still my friends. Even if they weren’t the exact same friends I remembered.  
  
I wondered about helping Jake as I kept seeing Rachel’s dying face when I looked at him. But he was a good fuck. I knew if I felt like fucking him in this time I could show up at his house without warning and he’d fuck me.  
  
At least that’s the impression I got from when I had talked to Marco.  
  
“So welcome to the team again.” Jake said.  
  
 _Thanks._ I replied.


	10. Chapter 10

I finished up a small breakfast and thought about what to do. I still wasn’t brave enough to contact my mother again and Ti had to go to her job today. I wanted to go to Rachel and feel her kiss on my lips while she pushed me onto the bed. Looking into her eyes as…no, she wasn’t mine this time. Past Me got her and I wouldn’t come between them.  
  
I preened myself as I thought about the flying outing I would be having with the other Animorphs in a few days. Past Me had convinced them to have an afternoon of fun. But I wanted to do something now and I couldn’t think of a damn thing.  
  
As I took flight I realized I could visit Jake and see how he was. Maybe start to make up…well it would be repairing burnt bridges to me while it would be something different to him. I started heading over to his house.  
  
There was a Golden eagle, that reminded me of David, but it luckily didn’t show much interest in me. It was good that it didn’t try to attack me as I would be a little too much for it to handle today.  
  
I saw Jake mowing the yard when I reached his house. I flew around and watched him as he worked. My hawk eyes picked up every little drop of sweat that went down his body and I thought about going down there and fucking him. I thought of morphing in plain sight and damn the consequences.  
  
But then Rachel’s death flashed before me. I had morphed human just so that I could cry. I stumbled but managed to right myself before crashing down to the ground. Jake finally looked up and there was a hopeful smile on his face.  
  
He soon cleaned up and went back inside to his room. After a few minutes of making sure no one would notice, I flew into his room through the open window.  
  
Jake was at his desk pretending to do homework.  
  
 _I was bored._ I told him.  
  
“I saw you flying like an expert.” Jake said and looked at me.  
  
 _I…I was thinking about something._ I told him, not able to tell him what I had thought and not wanting to.  
  
“Something that happened to me?”  
  
 _You were involved with it._  
  
Jake nodded, knowing not to press me further. Instead he walked over to me and started scratching the back of my neck. We looked at each other and I saw Rachel’s ashes in his eyes. I didn’t know what he saw in mine.  
  
I remembered the night before I was taken that I had been with him and Marco. A fine threesome. I guess I should have forgiven him enough that fucking him in this timeline wouldn’t be a big deal. But maybe it had something to do with the fact that he didn’t know what the other Jake had done that stopped me. Maybe it was because this Jake couldn’t say he was sorry yet as he hadn’t made that call. The end of the war was at least three years away and so he hadn’t sent Rachel to her death yet.  
  
“In your timeline did you…” Jake asked, removing his hand from me.  
  
 _Eventually we fucked. I got into an open relationship, but you were a lover I was beginning to fuck._ I said.  
  
“Who was your boyfriend or girlfriend?”  
  
 _I can’t say. Don’t want to give my old self’s hopes up. Maybe he or she won’t like him._  
  
“Why did you come over here?”  
  
I finally realized why I had come here. It wasn’t to talk with Jake or play games. I quickly morphed my old human form and Jake touched my wings as they became hands. Then we grasped each other’s hands when that part of my body completed the morph.  
  
As my legs grew we both worked on keeping me from tumbling off the bed.  
  
My sight dimmed and I saw Jake over me. He could be a bastard at times, but damn was he sexy. I barely opened my mouth and his lips were on mine. Our tongues soon found each other and I moaned. I detached one of my hands from his just to unzip his pants.  
  
I soon got his cock out and squeezed it. He moaned into my mouth.  
  
 _You’re hard._ I told him as I started jerking him off.  
  
“Yes.” He moaned into my mouth and detached his other hand from mine.  
  
He took off his shirt and soon we were more of a moaning, sweaty mass than two people. Our clothes soon everywhere but on us. I was on top of him now, looking into his eyes, and with a quick movement I would be in him. I would start to fuck him.  
  
“Tobias.” Jake moaned and I lightly bit his neck.  
  
He moaned as his hand squeezed my cock. I heard Rachel scream in the throes of death. Tears came down my eyes as I realized that she wouldn’t survive the war. The girl who had fought the hardest, both in battle and with fighting her inner demons, would not get to see a peaceful world.  
  
The war that saved humanity had killed my girlfriend.  
  
“Tobias?” Jake asked as I got off of him and started putting my morphing outfit back on.  
  
“Not now.” I said, wiping away my tears. “I’m sorry, it’s just…what happens near the end of the war.”  
  
“Can’t you tell me anything?” Jake asked worriedly, turning on his side to watch me.  
  
“You change. I change. All of us change. War is a horrible, horrible thing not because it makes you do things that make your morals become all muddled up. War is a horrible, horrible thing because it doesn’t allow you time to realize what’s happening to your morals until it’s too late.”  
  
I demorphed and turned to look at Jake.  
  
“Should I wait?” Jake asked me.  
  
 _I don’t know._ I told him and hopped onto his bed.  
  
He stroked my head and we stayed in bed until Jake’s parents came home.


	11. Chapter 11

I landed on top of the small abandoned chapel and watched as the others arrived. The first to arrive was Past Me who I could tell had been trying to avoid anything that a red-tailed hawk would eat. This is the thing that bothered me the most as he shouldn’t be avoiding his new body’s instincts, but embracing them. I had to remind myself constantly not to lecture him as I knew that wouldn’t help matters.  
  
The others arrived shortly after, including Mary who appeared very nervous. Soon all their outer clothes were off and they were wearing their morphing outfits.  
  
“We really need a group outfit.” Marco complained. “I mean…how are we supposed to be taken seriously?”  
  
“Just shut up and morph.” Rachel said, rolling her eyes as she started to morph.  
  
I watched as everyone morphed. I looked at Mary the most to see what bird morph she had chosen. The first change for her was her skin changing to a very pale white before she started to shrink. As she got smaller, bird features started to appear on her.  
  
Her arms turned into wings and two black dots appeared on the back of both of them. As more feathers appeared on her body, her final coloration was made clearer.  
  
Finally, she was finished.  
  
_What bird is that?_ I asked, trying to come up with the answer.  
  
I know it shouldn’t bother me, but not knowing a bird was embarrassing. I was a bird. I should know all types of birds, right?  
  
_So the bird-boy doesn’t know his birds?_ Marco teased as he looked around with his Osprey eyes.  
  
_Shut up, Marco._ Past Me and me said at the same time.  
  
Past Me and me just started laughing at that as did the rest of the group. It was insane to have another copy of me. Maybe the world just wasn’t ready for two of me.  
  
_White-Tailed Kite._ Mary said in a very embarrassed voice.  
  
_Let’s do this!_ Rachel shouted in her usual bravado and took to the skies.  
  
All of us attempted to keep up. It surprised me at first that Rachel had chosen a different bird morph. Instead of a Bald eagle she was…me. Well, technically my hawk morph. She must have acquired the same morph I had. Did this version of Rachel love me more or was it a different way of showing the same love my Rachel had felt for me?  
  
_Wow!_ Mary said with an excited yelp. _This is…_  
  
_The most amazing feeling in the world._ Past Me said.  
  
Yes, flying was an amazing way to view the world. It was a reason I had trapped myself in this morph. I wanted to feel free all the time and escape my abusive household. It turned out to be misguided, but it was why Past Me couldn’t morph for the moment.  
  
The next hour was full of us joking and the others testing out their bird morphs. I even showed off my flying skills and ended up in a contest with Past Me.  
  
Past Me and Me were now at a part where we were diving down as fast and as far as we could go. I had more experience, but Past Me wasn’t weak. He had not spent as long a time as a hawk, but he had learned enough so far to make me have to work to earn my keep as top hawk.  
  
As we dove down, Rachel yelled out and I pulled out of my dive. Past Me followed soon after.  
  
_That fucker just shot at me!_ Rachel yelled. _Who the fuck does he think he is?_  
  
As I gained height I looked and saw two drunk rednecks holding shotguns with beer cans close by. I remembered this situation. But in my own timeline Rachel had been a Bald eagle and had pointed out that those rednecks were real jerks for shooting an endangered animal.  
  
Now they were just regular assholes, I guess.  
  
_How about we teach them a lesson?_ I suggested.  
  
_We shouldn’t draw suspicion to ourselves._ Mary said.  
  
_They’re already drunk, I think a few kind gestures from us won’t really mean much. Besides, they shot at Rachel. At least a plan coming from me means that they won’t die._  
  
That got a chuckle from Rachel.  
  
In under a minute I came up with a plan. Rachel and Marco dealt with the two rednecks. I watched as Rachel dove down and managed to grab a shotgun and fly away. Marco dove down and grabbed the other one’s hat before flying off.  
  
_I might keep this._ Marco said.  
  
_It would…um…look good on you._ Mary said shyly.  
  
I focused my attention on the remaining beer. Diving down, I managed to pick up two beer cans.  
  
_You going to share?_ Jake joked, but I noticed the longing behind the words.  
  
_Aren’t you too young to drink?_ I teased back, managing not to think about Rachel dying for once while talking to him.  
  
_And you’re twenty-one?_  
  
_Possibly._  
  
And with the rednecks in a fluster, we headed back. Cassie and Mary seemed okay with not getting involved. The newcomer seemed too shy, too scared. I guess it was normal to react to all the weirdness like that, but it still didn’t make her seem like a good fit to the group.  
  
_We should head back now._ Past Me said. _Getting too close to the time limit._  
  
As we flew back to the chapel I knew what was going through Past Me’s mind. He knew he was how the others reminded themselves not to stay over the morphing limit. It hadn’t gotten to the point where it became a problem, but it would always be a little bit of an irritant.  
  
When we all arrived at the chapel, the others demorphed. Well, all except Past Me.  
  
I dropped a beer can to Jake and I opened mine. We both started drinking at the same time. Maybe Jake and I could become something. Maybe I could forgive him. Well, not him but my own Jake.  
  
As the others joked around, Marco getting into a big debate about coordinating morphing outfits with only Mary supporting him, I realized that I had to tell Ti and Norpo the truth. It wasn’t fair to them for me to use them like some coping mechanism. I didn’t have to use people to help myself. If I could forgive this Jake for something he had never done, I could survive in this timeline.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Animorphs tv show sucks. Read the books first and then, maybe, check out the tv show is my opinion. However, it does some points decent.
> 
> One of them being Rachel and Tobias sharing the same bird of prey morph. That is what inspired Rachel having a red-tailed hawk bird of prey morph in this fic.


	12. Chapter 12

I laughed as I walked among my friends and Mary. I was now in my old human morph. I looked just as young as I had been when I had been thirteen. I fit in with the group more so than I would in Ruffalo morph. Besides the fact that Ruffalo is a celebrity, he is also much older than thirteen. I didn’t need to draw attention to the group like that.  
  
I held Jake’s hand as we continued our walk. Were we a couple or just a one night stand? I didn’t know and right now I just wanted to relish the fact that I wasn’t hating Jake for the moment.  
  
“So you going to make any bets?” Marco asked and I was amused to see Mary try to avoid his gaze. “Become a billionaire? Make a hawk mansion with your winnings?”  
  
“No,” I said with a grin. “I think making a mansion is more your thing.”  
  
“Him make a mansion?” Rachel asked. “Maybe he’s different in your timeline, but this Marco would go overboard if you gave him half the chance to make one.”  
  
“I’m sure he wouldn’t be that bad.” Mary chimed in.  
  
“At least one person is on my side.” Marco joked.  
  
“That’s because love makes you do stupid things.” Rachel replied.  
  
I looked up to see Past Me flying overhead. Of course he couldn’t join in all the lunacy that was going around on the ground, but he could watch. He could watch his friends get a normal life while he could never escape his situation. He would go off to make friends with a Controller soon and use his new friends as an escape from his life.  
  
“Must be hard for you.” Cassie said as she noticed me looking at Past Me. “Knowing what he’s going through and not being able to stop it.”  
  
“I can’t tell him what the future holds for him, but I can help him.” I told her. “But I don’t know if talking to him will do any good. And he will go through something that makes counseling him like I could potentially detrimental to the future.”  
  
“What does he do?” Jake asked and I shook my head.  
  
I didn’t want to even give a hint on what he would do, if he followed what I had done in my own timeline. The group wouldn’t like it and I didn’t need them to look at him with suspicion just yet. I didn’t need them to look at him with suspicion ever, truth be told. But some things couldn’t be helped.  
  
“So, you have any plans tonight?” Jake asked.  
  
“Not really,” I said. “I’m thinking about doing something but I’m unsure of what.”  
  
“So I should expect you?”  
  
“No, I have something else planned. Don’t worry, I’ll get to your ass soon enough.”  
  
Jake blushed and I looked to see us passing the abandoned construction site. The place where all of our problems started. Past Me went to where our father had died. Not that he knew it had been our father. He only knew he felt a connection to the fallen Andalite.  
  
It had been an unfair way to meet our father. We met him when he had died. I closed my eyes and tried to focus on something else. Anything else.  
  
“You want to see a movie?” Marco asked. “We could do a little hang out. Or would you just like to have Jake all to yourself?”  
  
“If you must know, Marco, I can easily use a restroom stall if I decide I want him all to myself.” I said with a wink.  
  
“Tobias!” Rachel said in shock.  
  
I laughed at her shock. I had changed a lot since the beginning of the war and the time the Ellimist grabbed me to fight the war again. I had grown open with my sexuality, though I wasn’t in the dark parts of my sexual history any longer.  
  
“So have you done that?” Jake asked.  
  
“Yeah, a few times.” I said.  
  
“So I know we’d like to just joke around, but what are we going to do about fighting the war?” Marco asked. “We don’t exactly have a lot of leads. Hell, we don’t know what we’re doing.”  
  
“We know Chapman is a Controller.” Jake said. “Maybe we can learn something from him. Hey, aren’t you friends with his daughter?”  
  
“Melissa?” Rachel asked, trying to sound casual. “Yeah, we’re a little distant but I’m sure I can talk to her.”  
  
I knew what would happen with spying on Chapman. The first time and then the deadly ant morphs. And this time I would be morphing an ant with them. I remembered hearing them all scream as if it was happening right now. How they described the ant mind was…I didn’t want to do it, however I would if I had to.  
  
“Does it go well?” Cassie asked.  
  
“We all come out alive.” I said. “All in all, it isn’t the worst moment of the war.”  
  
“So how about the dance?” Rachel asked, trying to change the conversation as she could tell it was affecting me badly.  
  
“I don’t have a date.” Marco said with a sigh. “No girl is brave enough to make me theirs.”  
  
“Yeah, I’m sure that’s the problem.” I said.  
  
I noticed that Mary was blushing deeply. Maybe I’d visit her later and help her ask the boy out. The boy’s ego was beyond easy to stroke. You just complimented Marco and then you were in. Figuratively and literally.  
  
“What about you, Tobias?” Rachel asked, trying to pretend the question wasn’t awkward.  
  
“I’ll think about it.” I said, squeezing Jake’s hand. “Dances aren’t really my thing. I have to dress up and I usually like to dress naked. Being a hawk and all.”  
  
“I coul-“  
  
“No. I…I can handle it on my own. I’m a grown hawk, I can dress myself when I want to.”  
  
Cassie nodded in what I think was sympathy. She knew, as well as I did, how vicious Rachel could be when the topic of fashion was at hand. Cassie wasn’t a big fashion person which made it strange that she was best friends with someone who was.  
  
As we continued our walk back, I got lost in the conversation. After this I would talk to Ti and Norpo. I would tell them the truth.


	13. Chapter 13

I had called Ti earlier to make special dinner arrangements. She probably thought I was going to do something extra sexy to her tonight, but the truth was different. I was going to tell her the truth. I was going to tell her that I was weak and needed her support, even if it was on a sexual bordering on rape kind of way. I would ask her to forgive the mistakes that I had made fucking her without telling her the truth. I would beg for her forgiveness. I knew that she was a good support for me, but I didn’t know if she would ever forgive me.  
  
I slowly walked to her room, every step seeming like a million miles. I gulped and wondered if I was really doing the right thing. Should I really tell her now? What if this somehow affected her helping Past Me? What if I had to remain silent so that time could go on correctly? Would her not helping me be the event?  
  
Or was that merely my fear speaking? The fear of losing Ti and Norpo for good?  
  
I knocked on the door and knew that I had to find an answer, and quickly.  
  
“Yes, Andy?” Ti asked as she opened the door.  
  
I smiled at her and had to restrain myself from doing anything else. She was wearing a red bra and a black thong. Just those things. Nothing else. I nodded as I went inside, which was cleaner than I had ever remembered it being.  
  
On the table was a bottle of wine and two glasses already poured. I wasn’t a big wine drinker as I had always found the drink too formal. Beer was more my area as it wasn’t a very formal beverage of choice. She must have thought I wanted something formal to do this.  
  
“So you wanted a special dinner arrangement?” She asked, taking my arm and leading me to the dinner table.  
  
“I…um…need to talk to you about something.” I said as my courage was slowly fading away.  
  
“What?” Ti asked with a worried look on her face.  
  
And now my courage was all gone. There was none left. Why couldn’t I escape in her? In this little fantasy? I’d tell her later. Later when she wasn’t dressed like she was now and she wasn’t serving me wine. Sometime later I’d tell her. But not now, I wanted this night.  
  
“I’m thinking of seeing someone else.” I said quickly. “I wanted to know if you’re okay with an open relationship.”  
  
She laughed loudly and I knew why. She didn’t want to settle down and my Ti had been more than okay than being one of my lovers. But it had been the only thing I could think of at the moment. I laughed with her as her laughs tended to be very contagious.  
  
“You didn’t think we were exclusive, did you?” Ti asked once she finished laughing.  
  
“No, but I wanted to make sure you didn’t think that we were.” I said, trying to recover myself.  
  
Ti grinned and a small smile started to form on my mouth. I felt guilty but I also knew that tonight was saved at least. Maybe the entire universe would still be in jeopardy but at least Ti and I were together.  
  
I watched the clock as she prepared a small meal for us. It was simple, frozen dinners heated up, but the thought behind it was sweet. It was hard to eat and make conversation when looking at Ti barely dressed.  
  
She looked up at me and could tell where my thoughts were heading. She finally walked over to me and kissed me. I put one hand on her back and the other one pushed the thong out of the way to let my finger in.  
  
“Hmmm…” Ti moaned as I started to finger her.  
  
My free hand undid her bra and it went falling unceremoniously to the floor. My mouth quickly found a nipple and let my tongue gently lick it.  
  
“Oooh!” Ti moaned and I smiled.  
  
She pulled my finger out of her and I let go of her nipple. She took off her thong and knelt in front of me. I smiled as I knew what was coming next. She slowly undid my pants and when my cock was out she started sucking on it.  
  
I moaned loudly and ran my fingers through her hair. She hadn’t even waited for my pants to be fully off, once the cock was free her fun began.  
  
“Ti…” I moaned and before I came she stopped.  
  
Ti pulled the rest of my pants off and took off my shoes. She then stood with her face against the wall, her ass an open invitation.  
  
“Andy, I’m waiting.” She said.  
  
I nodded with a big grin on my face. I walked over and smacked her ass. She moaned loudly as I then entered her. I kissed her neck and pulled on her ear with my teeth as I started to thrust.  
  
“Oh…please…” Ti said and tried to turn around, but I didn’t let her.  
  
“Why?” I asked as I increased my thrusts.  
  
“I…I…oooh…” She tried to reply and I pulled out then turned her around.  
  
As I kissed her neck she jumped on me, my cock going deep inside her, and put her legs around my waist. I pushed her up against the wall and held our hands above our heads.  
  
“Ti…”I moaned, loving her ability to take control.  
  
“Ye…sss…” She replied and I started to thrust.  
  
I liked feeling her warmth and having her close to me. To be able to be controlled by her and to control her. I never wanted this to-  
  
“Ah!” We yelled as one as we both came.  
  
I let her down slowly and it ended with me on top of her.  
  
“I think one round was enough for tonight.” Ti said but her eyes told a different story.  
  
Norpo wanted more? Although he acted mature he could be a kinky little bastard if you moved the right way.  
  
“Okay,” I said and exited her, lying beside her.  
  
“You’re a good lover, Andy, just don’t know if you’re the one.” Ti told me.  
  
“I think there is never just one, but I’d like to think one is front and center. Might not be you, but there has to be someone like that out there.”  
  
We lay in silence for a few minutes and when I left I wondered: Without Marco in this timeline, who was my one? Did someone for that role even exist here?


	14. Chapter 14

I breathed in and then out. I wasn’t good at breathing exercises, but I guess now was a good time to start. I was in my usual human morph and was dressed up as an average teen. No Controller looking at me would guess I was an ‘Andalite bandit’. They would just think I was some stupid human that they could infest later.  
  
I wasn’t a priority as I walked towards my destination. I had to remind myself to be calm so I didn’t spook her. I looked and saw Champ helping her walk as she was blind. My mother. Loren Fangor. I don’t know why the Ellimist had let us keep our names. Maybe it was his own little joke. Maybe it was so that I would constantly feel stupid for not realizing that Elfangor was my father by the intense connection I had felt with him and the fact that my last name sounded like his first one.  
  
Watching my mother, I wondered how I should reintroduce myself. Previously I had pretended to need to use her phone. Now…I had gone through a few different scenarios in my mind but hadn’t decided on one for certain. They all sounded so stupid to me.  
  
I was moved into action when my mother was about to drop something. Coming just in the nick of time, I caught the gallon of milk from falling to the floor. Champ looked up at me, only seeming to care about me as it related to his owner.  
  
“Thank you.” My mother said.  
  
“You’re welcome.” I replied and she paused.  
  
I was feeling extremely nervous in that moment. How would she react? Would she go and call the police? The war would be hard enough without police involvement and I didn’t want to explain to any of my fellow Animorphs why I was interested in her. That should be something they found out for themselves.  
  
“You’re the boy who came to my apartment to use the phone.” She said in a dry tone.  
  
“Yeah.” I said.  
  
“You’re not following me, are you?” She joked.  
  
“No. I just happened to run into you again. Sorry if I spooked you.”  
  
“Do you want to help?”  
  
“Er…sure?”  
  
“Then why not help me with the rest of my shopping trip?”  
  
I nodded even though she couldn’t see me. I swore she grinned because of what, for me, had just been a normal reaction.  
  
I walked with her and got the items she asked. In a weird way, I liked this. I was spending time with my mom who didn’t know I was her son. I was having a bonding experience. The one big downside was that I was that I couldn’t tell her who I was and what I knew of my father. In my own timeline I had tried to convince her that what my father had done was right, but she had never seen it my way.  
  
I guess that’s because she was my mother. I also guess that’s why she’d never agree with me fighting a war and losing my childhood in the process.  
  
“Where do you go to school?” My mother asked me.  
  
“Homeschooled.” I replied. “Parents are really protective of me. I do get out at times, but most of the time it’s spending time with my mom and dad.”  
  
“They must be close to you.”  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
I wish I had grown up with two loving parents. Instead I had grown up while being passed between an abusive aunt and uncle. They hadn’t even cared after I disappeared when I trapped myself as a hawk. I would have liked to grown up being raised by a caring Elfangor and a loving Loren instead.  
  
I walked with her to the checkout and tried to avoid the cashier’s gaze. I didn’t want to be noticed or it mentioned to Visser Three, when the time came, that I had been with Loren. I didn’t doubt for a second that the Visser would infest or use her in some manner to get to me.  
  
“I take the bus home.” My mother said to me and I nodded.  
  
“Do you want me to help you? I mean you’re blind and all…” I said, realizing that was probably an insult.  
  
“No. I’ll be fine.” She replied with a grin. “I tend to shop on the same day every week. I could even start to pay you if your parents allow it.”  
  
“Okay.” I said and shook her hand.  
  
I watched her go but made sure not to stare too long. I started heading to where I had original morphed so that I could demorph. As I demorphed I made sure that no one was coming after me and then flew away.  
  
As I rose in the air I released a long held breath. That hadn’t gone so bad. I went in big long circles as I watched my mother wait for the bus. I suddenly realized that me being up here and me being down by my mother was the same distance. Besides the separation of timelines, she had lost memories that would forever leave us apart.  
  
We would never connect, not like a real mother and son would.  
  
I still hoped that with what I learned in this timeline that I would be able to reconnect with my mother in my own. When the bus arrived I started to head over to a hunting spot. I wouldn’t have to worry about Past Me, not yet, as he hadn’t gotten used to fully living as a hawk.  
  
It was odd flying towards my old meadow and not having a chance to run into him. What would he think of me so casually being a hawk while he was denying that part of himself? Though it wasn’t like that was the only part of himself that he was hiding.  
  
I figured after I had a good hunt I would check on Jake. Maybe this time we could fuck if I got the image of Rachel out of my head when I saw him.


	15. Chapter 15

I rode the thermals with a full belly. The hunting had been a little tough, but when I caught my meal it had been beyond delicious. I scanned the skies unconsciously for predators. My mind kept on going to David, the former Animorph that had tried to kill us all. He even thought that he had killed me at one point. But it had just been a random red-tailed hawk.  
  
David…this was a new timeline in which he didn’t have to be involved. He had discovered the Escafil Device, aka the blue cube, in the abandoned construction site where my father had died. What if I could prevent David from discovering the cube and, therefore, never have to encounter him?  
  
It wouldn’t involve anyone else in the group as I could look for it on my very abundant free time. I could even search during missions but…I didn’t want to leave my friends to battle the Yeerk Invasion without my help.  
  
I knew they could win without me, but I would feel guilty if I didn’t at least do something.  
  
I saw Past Me as I reached Jake’s neighborhood. He would be staying with Jake until he learned to accept his hawk self. I pitied him. I remembered denying the hawk part of myself. It had caused me more pain and harm than good.  
  
_Tobias._ Past Me said.  
  
_Tobias._ I replied and we both laughed.  
  
_Were you hunting?  
  
I was hungry.  
  
You can morph human, why not just buy from McDonald’s?_  
  
I had to think how to word my response. I knew I wouldn’t want to hear pity from anyone, especially not myself, but I wanted to reassure him that he would grow used to being a hawk. That he would revel in killing prey and that, one day, he couldn’t see living any other way.  
  
_I don’t know, gotten so used to it._ I told him. _Don’t worry about it. If you want to just eat what Jake gives you I won’t judge._  
  
I wouldn’t judge Past Me even if he ate roadkill. He wouldn’t need any judgment when that time came. He would need someone to reassure him that he was still strong. That he wasn’t weak in the least bit.  
  
_Okay,_ Past Me replied. _You checking up on me?  
  
No, _ I said. _Just wanted to see how Jake was doing. He needs all the help he can get._  
  
Past Me laughed.  
  
Jake had been a…good leader. If you could use the word good to describe what he had done over the course of the war. But Jake was also…sort of a klutz when it came to realizing certain things. Mind you he was smart in the areas it counted but…seriously, sometimes he weirded me out.  
  
_I need to eat so if you-_ Past Me started.  
  
_No I wasn-_ I started to reply.  
  
_You’re me and I’m you. And what I know is I’d love to fuck Jake so if you’re trying to hide my own thoughts from me…_  
  
I sighed as I knew he was right. Well, for the most part. I knew things he didn’t but we had the same basic drive. I wanted to fuck Jake and so did he. Was he jealous of the fact that I could fuck the boy he could never do now? Even if he wasn’t with Rachel?  
  
_I’ll wait for you to get done eating before I fuck Jake._ I said and as we approached Jake’s house I noticed the others were there.  
  
What had happened? Was there some mission I wasn’t aware of? Were my friends in trouble?  
  
I flew in behind Past Me and while he landed on Jake’s bed, I landed on the windowsill. Whatever had gone on had caused a little chaos it seemed. Rachel was looking angry while Marco was looking beyond pissed off.  
  
_What happened?_ I asked.  
  
“This…Rachel decided to morph half-way in front of someone.” Marco replied. “This guy could’ve been a Controller but, nope, Rachel decided to be a fucking moron and morph in front of him.”  
  
“He was goin-“ Rachel started but Marco held up a hand.  
  
“You didn’t have to go that way, but you did. You have some really serious mental issues.”  
  
Past Me looked at Marco angrily. Although his expression was angry the majority of the time, but I could tell he was extra pissed off. However, I had to agree with Marco. I remembered this incident. I knew how hard Rachel had it right now and that she wanted to have a thrill.  
  
“So she went the wrong way.” Mary murmured, avoiding anyone’s gaze. “We all make mistakes. So she decided to fight back. Would you prefer she was raped?”  
  
“No one would want that.” Cassie reassured Mary.  
  
_Rachel,_ I told my former girlfriend. _I know your situation is seriously stressing you out, but you need to think._  
  
“So you’re with Team Marco?” She replied angrily.  
  
Past Me looked at me with shock. He must be surprised that I, out of anyone else, would be siding with Marco on this one. But Marco had a point, like he usually always did even when he was being an asshole. We couldn’t allow ourselves to be found out. The war, at least for them, was just starting. How horrible would it be if they were found out and killed? Earth would be lost. I couldn’t exactly fight a war on my own, even if I did have all the information to win.  
  
“Rachel knows what she did was wrong.” Jake told everyone.  
  
Rachel avoided everyone’s gaze.  
  
“I’ll be more careful next time.” She said. “I won’t do anything stupid.”  
  
_Is there a mission or can I go?_ I asked, feeling nervous.  
  
I loved Rachel, but she did have her faults.  
  
“Tomorrow night I’m going to acquire Melissa’s cat.” Rachel said. “Should be simple. I’ll be safe.”  
  
I had to hold back a big laugh. Rachel was a thrill seeker and I already knew how unsafe she would be during this mission. If it went like last time, that is.


	16. Chapter 16

Past Me had left a few minutes ago and so I had morphed human. I was now in bed with Jake, his head on my chest and my fingers running through his hair. Looking at him I couldn’t believe that this was the same boy who would do unspeakable things during the war and give the order that eventually killed Rachel.  
  
Well, truthfully, he wasn’t that boy. Not yet. This boy was still innocent about the atrocities that he would commit.  
  
“You’re being quiet.” Jake said softly.  
  
“I’m always quiet.” I teased.  
  
“I mean more quiet than normal.”  
  
I smiled. Yeah, I had been more quiet. But who could blame me? I had a boy I liked in my arms and I didn’t know what to do. Part of me wanted to fuck him and feel him shiver as he climaxed. Another part of me just kept remembering Rachel dying and so didn’t want anything to do with the boy.  
  
“I don’t know what to do now.” I told him and he looked up at me.  
  
Jake reached up with one hand and put it behind my neck. He gently guided my head down to his lips. We kissed gently. His taste on my lips…I closed my eyes letting all the sensations flood me and then I opened them.  
  
Jake was now looking down at me and there was only one thing on my mind: I needed to fuck him now or else all my courage would be gone.  
  
But I paused and Jake stopped.  
  
“Would it be easier if I morphed Rachel?” Jake asked desperately.  
  
What? Did Jake want me so bad that he would acquire and morph his own cousin just to fuck me? I held back bile that started coming up my throat.  
  
“Jake, it would still be you.” I reassured him. “And I want to fuck you. I…well…we do share some moments in the future.”  
  
I started undoing his pants and imagined him morphing Rachel. Yes, it was beyond wrong but it was one way that I could fuck her without actually fucking her. To fuck my girlfriend again…I started sucking Jake’s cock and he grabbed my hair.  
  
If only I could have Rachel’s tits in my mouth again, sucking them like I was a baby. Eating her out as she commanded me to. Maybe I hadn’t ever really gotten over her. Maybe it had only been a dream that I had.  
  
I put a hand under Jake’s shirt and imagined him changing into Rachel. No. No. No.  
  
I pulled away and accidently pushed Jake off the bed. If I was going to get into a relationship with Jake it couldn’t be because I was escaping in him. I was already escaping in Ti/Norpo and I couldn’t tell if that was correct. It was comforting and freeing, but it wasn’t right. Did I really want to get into two relationships like that?  
  
“Tobias?” Jake asked softly, more worried than hurt.  
  
“I…I…I’m sorry.” I told him. “Can I be the bottom? At least for now?”  
  
Jake nodded and I got off the bed and took off the morphing outfit. I stood in front of Jake who also took off his clothes. Kneeling in front of me he started to suck my cock. I bit my lower lip as he started. So…I leaned my head back as I basked in the feeling.  
  
His breath. His tongue.  
  
“Ohh…” I moaned softly, trying to keep quiet so that Tom couldn’t hear us.  
  
Was Tom eve-I suddenly found myself with my head pushed onto the bed and my body leaned over. I grinned. So forceful. I needed forceful now. I needed not to think.  
  
I felt Jake go soft at first. As if he couldn't believe his luck. Finally he was getting to fuck his crush again. I didn't think about our situation and just gripped the bed as he went faster. I felt my body shiver and moaned as Jake bit my neck.  
  
For the moment I was his and I was enjoying it.  
  
"Tobias..." Jake breathed into my ear.  
  
"Jake..." I said under my breath, trying to stifle a moan.  
  
Jake came just as I heard rain hit his window. It was like even nature was excited. That the universe was a-  
  
"Aaah!" I moaned softly as I came.  
  
Jake went out of me and lay on the bed. I lay beside him, my head in his lap. I felt relaxed after the orgasm. Things seemed...quieter and more peaceful. Like everything would be alright now. But I knew that was a lie.  
  
I knew what would happen if I allowed myself to fall into that trap again.  
  
Jake didn't deserve to be there purely for my support as I crumbled. I had done that once before and had sworn never to do that again. He didn't deserve that. Neither did Ti and Norpo.  
  
"Better?" Jake asked, running his fingers through my hair.  
  
"Yeah," I told him. "Now to hope something doesn't go wrong on the mission."  
  
As I waited for the two hour limit I wondered if I could muster up the resolve to tell Ti and Norpo the truth, or if I would hide it from them forever.


	17. Chapter 17

I flew to the Chapman house. I was going to arrive a little later than I had wanted to. Ti had come over to my apartment without warning and had asked about a little date night. This had meant that I had to find a day and something to do. What she didn't know was that some of the options weren't good for me because of my two hour limit.  
  
It was awkward figuring out what to say so that she wouldn't catch on. I had found out after the war that she had guessed that I wasn't really an Andalite before I had revealed my secret to her. So I knew whatever I said now could be looked at with suspicion.  
  
Flying now I wasn't able to relax as it was nighttime. Hawks, like me, were made to fly in the sunlight. The full moon was the only thing that allowed me to hang on to any form of sanity. At least I wasn't nearly blind.  
  
A small thing to be excited about, but at least it was something.  
  
I looked down at my friends who were in an empty lot by the Chapman house. Marco was looking around at the sky with an annoyed expression on his face. I wanted to smile as I knew he cared about the group more than he let on. He was the person to stop us all from being idiots.  
  
I landed on a rooftop as Past Me was sitting in a tree.  
  
"You're late." Marco said crossing his arms.  
  
_Yeah, I got caught up with something._ I said.  
  
Rachel tried to appear calm, but I could tell that she just wanted this mission to be over with. My former girlfriend loved action and danger, something that the war provided her with. Not that she was always comfortable with how she felt, but there was no denying she had a violent personality. And I knew from my own timeline that now she was worried about Melissa, Chapman's daughter.  
  
"Tobias already told us that you two can't see that good right now." Jake said. "But he sees good enough to see Fluffer McKitty."  
  
"Then we'll have to think about catching him." Cassie said with a groan. "Fluffer is a tom which means that this isn't going to be easy."  
  
"Really?" Mary asked biting her lower lip.  
  
I didn't know how she fit into this group. She had come back even after the Yeerk pool, but I was doubting how useful she was to the group. I wasn't going to show that I was unsure about her as the group didn't need to be broken apart. Not this early.  
  
_I see him!_ Past Me shouted.  
  
"Can you pick him up?" Jake asked.  
  
_Are you kidding me? He could claw me._ Past Me said.  
  
"Is the big, tough hawk afraid of a little cat?" Marco teased.  
  
_He's right._ I said, looking at Marco. _A cut could get infected. I could morph and demorph to heal myself, but he can't._  
  
"So our original plan." Jake said.  
  
I guess the group had really wanted Past Me to be able to catch Fluffer so that they wouldn't have to play 'catch the cat'. As Fluffer wasn't close by this would be harder and I knew what would happen. Rachel would morph a shrew and have nightmares.  
  
When she had talked to me about them I had wished I could stop them. One of them had caused her to wake up in the middle of the night and vomit. I hadn't had to worry about pretending to be normal, but she had to pretend to be normal so she couldn't tell her siblings what her nightmare really was about.  
  
_I'll be a sheepbird._ I finally said and the others looked up at me. _I can herd him in to you and you can just put him into the cat carrier._  
  
"It'll be dangerous." Rachel replied. "You said so yourself."  
  
_Past Me can't morph, I can. It'll make things easier for you._  
  
With how Rachel looked at me I swear she knew this wasn't just for the mission. It was for her. She must slowly be getting used to the fact that were things I couldn't tell her, as all she did was look at me angrily.  
  
"You sure about this, Tobias?" Jake asked me and I took off in reply.  
  
I circled around until everyone was in position. Cassie gave me a thumbs up and, with Past Me's help, I quickly found Fluffer. Saying the plan while I had been safe had been one thing. It made sense both to keep Rachel safe and to make the mission go quicker.  
  
But now that I was about to do it...what if something went wrong? What if I was too hurt to demorph? The pain a cat could cause was...not good.  
  
I screeched out as I dove down towards Fluffer. Partially because I was scared and partially to spook the cat. He started to run, but must have gotten some courage as he suddenly turned around to jump at me. I managed to fly back up just in time.  
  
I took only a moment to take in my surroundings. Dammit! I wasn't in the vacant lot by Chapman's house! I would have to do a take two.  
  
Luckily Fluffer hadn't moved very far so I was able to repeat the same thing again. I dove down and was aware that my flying had faulted a little bit, but I was able to get him to the vacant lot by the Chapman house.  
  
_Yes!_ I shouted.  
  
As soon as I let out my shout, Fluffer changed direction. He was turning to leave the lot with only Marco and Mary in his way. Both of my friends looked uneasy and uncertain of what to do. Fluffer raced by Marco but Marco moved much too late.  
  
Mary was shaking her head and appearing to mutter 'no no no' under her breath. Fluffer was about to pass by her when she leaped at the cat. As she held him tightly, his claws digging into her skin, she raced to Cassie who was holding the cat carrier.  
  
After Fluffer was in the cat carrier, Mary stood there shivering. Her skin whiter than normal.  
  
"So, we doing this?" Mary asked while Marco looked impressed.


	18. Chapter 18

"Yes, let's do this." Rachel said with a smirk and walked over to the cat carrier.  
  
I knew later Rachel and I might have an argument, but for now there was only the mission. Only going step by step to make sure that nothing messed up.  
  
I watched as Rachel acquired Fluffer. He hissed right before going into the trance all creatures did, well most creatures, when being acquired. If I had been human I would've smiled as now this Rachel didn't have the awful memories that mine did. Or had.  
  
After Rachel had acquired Fluffer, she looked at Chapman's house.  
  
"You remember the plan," Jake told her.  
  
"Yes, spy on Chapman." Rachel replied. "See if he has any information that could be useful."  
  
"And don't do anything rash." Cassie reminded her. "Remember what this mission is about: Chapman."  
  
"Don't worry, I won't do anything stupid." Rachel reassured her and Marco's face showed he was holding back a laugh.  
  
Rachel, out of all of us, was extremely impulsive. There was a reason she liked to say 'let's do this'. The war brought out her Bald eagle I guess you could say. Well, in this timeline, her Red-Tailed hawk.  
  
I watched as first her body became covered with fur. Her eyes then became cat-like and finally she started to shrink. It was freaky seeing Rachel, the girl I loved, all covered with fur. Humans were not made to look like that.  
  
As her clothes became too loose, she seemed to be swallowed up by them. I was glad I didn't have to see her tail form. I didn't know if there would be fur first or not, morphs differed from time to time. What parts were the last to change differed each time.  
  
Why was I concerned? If I didn't see it, I didn't have to freak myself out.  
  
Within a few short minutes, Rachel came out of her clothing as Fluffer. She looked around and I knew what was happening. She was having to struggle with gaining control of the cat mind. Which she didn't seem that rushed to do.  
  
When she jumped on the fence Jake finally asked, "Rachel, you in control?"  
  
_Yeah,_ Rachel lied and then turned to go to Chapman's house. _Just testing the morph out._  
  
Marco shook his head. Even when I hadn't grown to love him, even at his worst times, he cared for all of us. And knew when to spot bullshit.  
  
We watched as Rachel went into the Chapman house and Past Me kept a tight eye on her. I knew that they had to be discussing me. It wasn't paranoia, but was the truth. I, or a version of me, would be what Rachel would want to talk to now. Especially as she was preparing to fulfill a mission.  
  
Looking around I saw that each of my friends, including Mary, all had various worried looks on their faces. Cassie was the one among us who seemed to be able to read minds at times, so she looked the most worried.  
  
"So she's not going to do anything stupid, Tobias?" Mary asked me, biting her lower lip. "I know she's brave and all but..."  
  
"But she's a goddamn moron at times." Marco finished and she nodded shyly.  
  
And then I didn't know what to answer. To answer truthfully would be to give away future events, right? That was the rule that the Ellimist had given me. However, he bent his rules and so could I. I just had to figure out how to word my reply. How to give things away without really giving them away.  
  
_She's Rachel._ I replied simply, figuring out that would be the best answer.  
  
Marco and Jake let out small laughs while Mary and Cassie didn't think that was funny. I wanted to follow it up with Rachel being so concerned for Melissa that she endangered the mission. That she was nearly killed by Visser Three, that she endangered Melissa in the process.  
  
But I couldn't.  
  
"Rachel will be fine." Cassie said. "I don't think Tobias would be so calm if she was going to get hurt."  
  
_We all get hurt. This is war._ I said, holding back from saying more.  
  
"But not her. Not on this mission."  
  
_Things could change._  
  
"But you're not watching her now with the other you."  
  
"Because we all know that if Rachel was in danger then our Tobias would freak the fuck out." Marco said with an eyeroll. "This other Tobias knows he doesn't have to keep a careful eye out. If Rachel got hurt, the people in China could hear our Tobias."  
  
Jake smirked and everyone seemed to lighten up. I did love Marco for times like these. Times when I needed someone at my side. And Jake's smirk...for a moment I could forget Rachel. For a moment I felt that his smile would be enough for the dark times ahead.  
  
"How close are you and her in the future?" Cassie asked and turned to Marco. "We don't know if they're together. She might end up being nothing but a crush to him."  
  
_She is more than a crush._ I replied, puffing up. _I love her. She's...she's not just a crush._  
  
I swear I saw Cassie smile a little. Goddammit! I had just ran headfirst into that one. Luckily I hadn't revealed any major information. Cassie, luckily, probably assumed that my response meant that Rachel and I were married in the future.  
  
After that the chatter became idle. Marco got to talking about the upcoming dance and all the moves he could pull to ask a girl out. Mary blushed and Cassie smiled a knowing smile. Jake merely looked up at me during that conversation.  
  
There was quiet laughter and I just listened. Just taking in a group of innocents who hadn't yet been damaged by the war.  
  
In what seemed like no time at all, at least to me, Rachel came back. She was reprimanded on taking so long but the mission was ruled a success. And, of course, she lied about needing more information.  
  
"You doing anything tomorrow night?" Rachel asked.  
  
_No._ I said, worrying where this was going.  
  
"Don't ask him out," Marco teased. "Tobias will get jealous of Tobias."  
  
_Shut up, Marco._ I and Past Me said.  
  
"Just want to talk." Rachel said, staring Marco down. "Meet me at my house."  
  
With that, we all left for our respective homes.


	19. Chapter 19

Ti and I were currently on the beach and looking up at the stars. My lover had dragged me out of the apartment around three in the morning. I had been dreaming peacefully of a world where there had been no war and so I could be with Rachel without her dying.  
  
Ti woke me up as I started to fuck Rachel on our wedding night.  
  
Ti lay her head on my chest and I made sure to keep track of time. I didn't want to get stuck in morph again, I still had a war to fight.  
  
"Why are you so tense?" Ti asked, her eyes looking up at me, her dark green bikini managing to distract me from my darker thoughts. "You have me here."  
  
"Not used to being woken up randomly at three in the morning." I told her.  
  
"Oh, sure this is your first time."  
  
Her hand ran up and down my leg. Always slowing down as her hand reached my crotch. Teasing me. Jake, Rachel, and now her. All people I was keeping secrets from. Would Rachel and I fuck or would I be able to hold back? Would I be able to be good?  
  
"What is troubling you?" Ti asked. "You're not still feeling guilty for sleeping with other people, are you?"  
  
"No," I said. "It's...I...someone I want to sleep with I don't think is a good idea. But I still love her."  
  
"You're really trying to get dating advice from me?"  
  
As she laughed I had to stop myself from explaining. It wasn't normal dating advice I needed as there was time traveling involved. She did have a point as I don't think anyone went to her to see what they should do in their romantic lives.  
  
Ti was a great friend, lover, and ally but she was really shitty in the advice department.  
  
So I just laughed at her joke instead of saying anything.  
  
She kissed me hard on the lips and I flew away in that moment. The waves crashed on the shore and I just wanted to stay here. To stay in this moment of simplicity. All that would be involved were two people fucking.  
  
"You know why I brought you here." Ti said after we stopped.  
  
"As you said, this isn't my first time." I said as I put her on her back, me on top of her.  
  
She laughed loudly and then moaned as I kissed her neck. I bit her neck gently and her fingernails dug into my back. In this moment I didn't care if what I was doing was wrong, I needed this. I deserved this. Her tits seemed to call out to me. I had an animalistic need to taste them.  
  
I kissed the tops of her tits and she ran her hands down my back.  
  
"You're not really that shy, are you?" Ti seemed to purr, even though she hadn't morphed into a cat.  
  
My hands went to her back and started to undo her top when she stopped me with a simple glance. Did she want to ride me, conquer me?  
  
She gently eased me off of her and stood up. I took her hand and we went into the ocean. She put her hands around my neck and grinded her body on me. I pulled down my swimming trunks and her bikini bottom just enough.  
  
"Ah!" Ti gasped as I entered her quickly.  
  
My thrusts quick and purposeful. I knew what Ti liked, I knew she liked me, and I knew that I could be rough with her. Each thrust caused Ti to grasp tighter on me. Her head leaned back, exposing her neck, and I took my moment.  
  
While kissing her neck I undid her bikini top. I bit one tit gently just as her body started to shiver.  
  
"Ooooooh...An...Ooooooh!" Ti moaned as she orgasmed.  
  
Her legs wrapping around my waist as she pushed my cock deeper inside of her.  
  
"Take me to the shore." She said as she bit my ear.  
  
"Yes." I whispered as I did so.  
  
Getting onto the shore, the waves still gently lapping at us, I started to fuck her again. Her moans got so loud I was afraid that people would start to notice.  
  
Suddenly I was on my back with my cock in Ti's mouth.  
  
"Ah!" I yelled out and then started moaning.  
  
Her tongue. Her breath. Sweet sweet agony.  
  
"Oh...Ti..." I moaned and, before I could think, she was riding me.  
  
Our moans being yelled out in unison. Her juice flowing out and the scent filled the air. I came and came hard. Yelling out her name as she pushed me deeper inside her.  
  
"Andy," She said breathlessly and I smiled.  
  
She got off of me and lay down beside me. I put my arm around her waist and she put her head on my chest.  
  
"Where's my top?" Ti asked after a minute and I laughed. "Where did you put it, Andy?"  
  
"I...I...you can probably swim for it." I chuckled and she playfully hit me.  
  
Once I had started laughing, I couldn't stop. I hadn't been thinking. Maybe because I was horny or maybe because I didn't think about clothing anymore. When you spend most of your life as a hawk, it's hard to remember human things.  
  
"Maybe you can buy me a better one." Ti said. "With all your money."  
  
I kissed her lightly on the forehead. If I had my money from my original timeline I could. Hell, we could spend a nice month in my mountain cabin. If she wanted, I could give her a new bikini every day that month.  
  
"Yeah, I think I will." I said.  
  
"Maybe a red one?" Ti said, running a hand down my chest. "Maybe with rubies."  
  
"Oh, you want rubies now? Will you also be wanting a diamond necklace?"  
  
"Only if it's like the one in Titanic."  
  
"Do you want me to swim to the bottom of the ocean to get it?"  
  
We laughed as the sun rose. I wished I didn't have to demorph so I could stay in this moment. I also wished that I didn't have to lie to Ti or to anyone.


	20. Chapter 20

I was on my special perch watching the news. I needed to focus my mind on what the conversation with Rachel would be like. I had to focus on coming up with answers to questions she would give me. There were some answers I could tell part of the truth about, like the Ellimist, and there were others where no amount of fudging the truth would work.  
  
As the news reporter was talking about a car crash, I knew I couldn't tell Rachel about her death. Well, her death if I couldn't stop it.  
  
Watching the news was also a way for me to relax from earlier. I had spent nearly all day looking for the blue box, the device that had given us Animorphs the ability to morph.  
  
The curse of the Andalite on some days, the gift of the Andalite on others.  
  
How David had found the box I had no idea. Maybe, just maybe, it had been a trade off with Crayak. Maybe, just maybe, the Ellimist bringing us all together in the abandoned construction site, as how else would the right people meet Elfangor, also brought us David. Or maybe the Ellimist helping us destroy the Kandrona.  
  
I didn't know how deals between gods worked. I just knew a deal would make it way easier for David to find what I had spent all day looking for.  
  
Turning my head to the large clock on the wall, I saw that it was time to start heading to Rachel's house. Pushing off my perch with my talons, I launched myself through the open window. I spread my wings open and caught a thermal, my apartment soon underneath me.  
  
I glided as much as I could to Rachel's house, glad I had come up with the idea to keep my window open for tonight.  
  
During my flight to Rachel's house I saw Ti walking with a guy. His face appeared nearly hawk-like and his appearance showed he was homeless.  
  
Was he flirting with her?  
  
No. No. She was flirting with him and was enjoying it. Or was pretending to enjoy it.

Ti was one to flirt, don't get me wrong, but she didn't tend to flirt with random homeless men. So either she was trying to recruit for The Sharing, or this was someone she knew from when she was homeless. Not that she spoke about that very often.  
  
My final look at the man was him staring up at me. I wanted to laugh as he was looking at me like I was a saint. I kept that bit of happiness to myself as I quickly approached Rachel's house.  
  
I saw Past Me fly away from her house when he noticed me. I guess he was giving me and her some space, even though his heart must be racing now. I flew through the open window and landed on her bed, waiting for her to come out of the bathroom.  
  
While waiting I looked around the room, taking in everything of Rachel I could. Fashion magazines on the floor as well as her homework on her desk. I smiled inwardly as I thought of anyone who didn't know her seeing this as a sign of her innocence.  
  
It wasn't, just a sign that she could still be a girl.  
  
"Oh, sorry," Rachel said when she came out of the shower wearing a towel.  
  
Right then I wished she were still my Rachel. My Rachel I could hold, kiss, and love.  
  
_Didn't really have much to do._ I told her, preening so I would have an excuse to look away.  
  
"I guess I wanted a little more time to think of what to say." She replied, embarrassed. "I don't want to come out too harsh but you were fucking protecting me back there, treating me like a goddamn child."  
  
I held back my laughter as I saw the girl that I loved.  
  
_Why do you think that?_ I asked, trying to play innocent.  
  
"Don't be coy with me." She said and I noticed her towel start to inch down.  
  
_Okay,_ I said, thinking what I was about to say would be enough of the truth. _In my timeline you had to morph a shrew to get Fluffer McKitty. You...you had nightmares. You'll have enough before the war is over._  
  
"You were protecting me." Rachel replied, though she didn't seem as angry before.  
  
She sat on her bed and started petting my head.  
  
"I want to be angry that you protected me but maybe I'm just weak." She said. "I'm weak because I liked you helping me."  
  
_You're not weak_. I told her and as the towel slid down more, my former girlfriend unaware as she dealt with her own inner turmoil, I found it harder to keep in control.  
  
I wouldn't do anything unless she asked for it.  
  
When she stood up the towel came off of her completely. I didn't look away.  
  
"Tobias." She hissed.  
  
I looked away immediately.  
  
"No...I...oh god." She said and I still didn't look at her. "When my version of you was stuck, we didn't have sex. You can turn hu-"  
  
_No._ I replied, shocked at my own refusal.  
  
I could have what I wanted but I was restraining myself.  
  
She blushed and covered herself up with the towel again.  
  
I did long for her, I had ever since she died, but I couldn't do this. Not here and not now. I was older, nearly an adult, and had to be the one to say no. Had to be the one to make the hard decision even as my mind yearned for me to give up. To finally do what I had wanted for three years.  
  
"I'm sorry," Rachel replied after an awkward silence. "I don't know what I was thinking. I just want to pretend to be normal for a little bit. To pretend that you're human and we can fuck. That we can do stupid shit other teenagers are getting into."  
  
_Some do wait a bit._ I told her.  
  
"Did your Rachel wait a bit?" Rachel asked. "When did you get your morphing powers back?"  
  
_Just wait._ I told her.  
  
I flew away quickly after that. I didn't want either of us to become weak and give in to our needs. Past Me didn't deserve that.


	21. Chapter 21

The noon sun was high in the sky as I ate the mouse. Tearing out its guts with only the thoughts of how juicy my meal was and how long I would have to clean up afterwards. The thought of all the hours I had spent looking for the Escafil Device weighed heavily on my mind.  
  
What if I couldn't stop David from finding it? What if this group of Animorphs had to survive him?  
  
I looked down at the abandoned construction site and wondered how much longer I could spare looking before David came. The thought of the Ellimist or Crayak hiding the device from me had come across my mind more than once today.  
  
If I didn't find the blue box in the next two hours I'd go with my other mission: keep track of Melissa's cat.  
  
I was hoping to make a change in the mission. I'd make sure to lead Chapman down a different route.  
  
Of course I could fail in what I wanted and the same thing could happen again. Or something worse could happen. Something that would make what had happened in my own timeline look like child's play.  
  
I looked up to the sky and tried to imagine the Yeerk Mother ship orbiting Earth. The cruel invaders of my planet looking calmly at Earth as they imagined how best to take it. And, of course, how best to satisfy Visser Three.  
  
A very hard thing to do at times as the Yeerk leader didn't tend to know the meaning of restraint.  
  
Finishing up my meal, I preened myself. Taking time to make sure I was as clean as possible, no need to make it so a predator could have an easier time at getting me. The thing about living as a hawk was that other predators would try and eat you.  
  
They didn't exactly understand I wasn't a hawk, well not fully a hawk, and so would react to me like any other hawk. I thought of visiting my Past Self before following Melissa's cat again and then decided against it.  
  
I needed to focus on what would go down tonight. I couldn't allow myself a moment's rest before this mission was over. I needed to see if I could change things and this would be the first step.  
  
Time had to be able to be changed or why else would the Ellimist bring me back here? Why would he bring me back as an observer when he had to know I would do all in my power to give my friends, even if they weren't the friends I knew, the best life while at war?  
  
After I finished preening, I launched myself from my perch into the sky, watching the world below become smaller. Somewhere down there was the Escafil Device and I would find it. Going back and forth, I tried to look closely at things I had merely glanced at before.  
  
I eventually found myself where Elfangor had died. Diving down I quietly landed where I had met him. I remembered, so long ago, when I had refused to leave his side. I didn't know he was my father then but I had an inkling that something connected us by more than chance.  
  
_I wish I could've saved you father._ I told the ground.  
  
If only the Ellimist had brought me back sooner then I could've come up with a way to save him. I could've found a way to have a father. And Elfangor, being an Andalite Prince, could help us avoid so many mistakes.  
  
As I started to morph a German shepherd, I realized that saving Elfangor would mean Past Me could have a father. A chance at a real family. At least as real as someone like me with an alien father and an amnesiac mother could have.  
  
I realized my morph had stopped as my thoughts had distracted me. Shaking off my thoughts, I focused on my morph again. The last thing to change was my feathers turning into fur. I sniffed as soon as the morph was complete.  
  
It was such a stupid idea, but those were the only things that I could go on now. I hoped that a dog nose could sniff out the Escafil device. I was hoping that the blue box being alien would make the scent really stand out in the abandoned construction site.  
  
But, before I could start my search, I had to combat the dog's instincts. He was so happy about the strange scents and I couldn't stop myself before I was running for no reason at all. I just wanted to feel the wind across my fur and maybe chase something. Anything.  
  
Without wanting to, I took control and made my body stand completely still. I pushed the feelings of euphoria from my mind, letting my doubts flood my mind. That was the only way I could take control and not fall into the trap of pure happiness.  
  
Gathering my focus I tried to sniff out an alien scent. I went along the site slowly, not wanting anything to escape my nose. Nothing to escape my focus.  
  
I soon realized my plan had no reason to actually work. It is true that a dog's nose is a powerful tool, but it is also true that the world is awash with many scents. I wasn't that used to my German shepherd morph, not familiar enough to tell the difference between all the different scents surrounding me.  
  
Everything smelled alien to me. Everything was too different from a hawk or human's senses for me to easily seek out the Escafil device. It wasn't different enough from any of the other smells.  
  
That didn't stop me from trying, however, and I stayed thirty minutes until the two hour time limit was up. Depmorphing I felt extremely lost. I was trying to change an event, a rather big event, by altering a small detail. Maybe if I stopped David from finding it then that would mean David wouldn't be a danger to my friends anymore.


	22. Chapter 22

Tonight was the night. Tonight I would discover if all my hard work would pay off or if it would all come crashing down. I looked over to Past Me who was also having trouble flying at night. I knew he too must be extremely nervous as well as annoyed that there was a night mission.

I had made sure to get a good kill in before the mission had started. It had helped distract me from what could go wrong.

Below me everything seemed normal and I could pretend that there was no Yeerk Invasion. Of course as I was a hawk there was never a moment I could pretend to be normal. Not unless I wanted to imagine that I was really just a patient in a mental institution.

I landed on the fence by the empty lot by Chapman's house. I preened myself and looked at the Animorphs who had arrived so far. Cassie and Rachel were the only two here at the moment. My former girlfriend being one of the first here didn't surprise me at all. She loved the fight, just as much as she hated that she loved it, and she also was worried about Melissa.

"They're coming soon," Cassie said. "Marco and Jake were arguing what the color green tasted like so we decided to walk ahead."

"Mary stayed behind because Marco was putting the moves on her." Rachel said with a big eye roll. "I couldn't stand another 'reason' why green tastes like red."

If I had a human mouth I would've smiled as I guessed the reason why Cassie had walked ahead with Rachel. Cassie wanted to keep her friend calm and offered to walk ahead with her. The girl seemed to have the ability to always say the right thing so that everyone walked away happy.

 _They're coming._ Past Me said and we all turned to watch them arrive.

I tensed up slightly as I was worried that my many plans for tonight would all fail. That no matter what I did that I couldn't change anything. Mary Graham looked extremely nervous and I wondered why she had decided to join the fight in the first place. I had to believe that there was bravery in her and that she would grow stronger as the war continued.

"Aren't you going to ask what we decided?" Marco asked with a sly grin.

Rachel's glare was directed solely at him and seemed capable of taking down the fiercest Hork-Bajir in the entire Yeerk Empire. Marco's grin quickly went away as he tried to retain some of his dignity.

"Okay, fine," He said, holding up his hands in defeat. "You win. Just stop looking at me now."

Rachel turned away from him with a devilish grin on her face. She seemed more than a little happy that she had won.

"Where's Jake?" Rachel asked, pointing out that he hadn't arrived.

"He remembered he had to do something." Mary said, biting her lower lip.

"Some big project that he forgot about." Marco said, rolling his eyes as he patted Cassie on the back. "Seriously, that guy is our leader?"

"He...he...has a lot on his shoulders. I mean...he's fighting against aliens and trying to be normal. It can't be easy."

I saw Rachel believing every word they were saying. Her own fear, coupled with the fact that she was focused on the personal mission ahead, was distracting her just enough to not realize the truth. Even though the others hadn't talked to me about it, I knew the basics of what had happened because of my own timeline.

I looked at Cassie's shoulder and even in the moonlight my hawk eyes picked up a flea. Cassie put a hand on her shoulder allowing Jake to get on her hand. Most likely in preparation to put Jake on Rachel when she went into cat morph.

I briefly wondered why I hadn't been trusted with this information and guessed that it was because I already knew. They might assume that every mission would go the same for me and so I didn't have to be in every meeting. I would ask later as there was a mission going on currently.

"It's just one mistake," Cassie said, pretending to argue. "Schoolwork and fighting a war? Mary's right, he just has a lot going on right now. I'm sure as the war goes on that he'll get better."

 _Jake will get better at being a leader._ I agreed, telling a half-truth. _At this point in my own timeline, there wasn't a real focus or goal. It takes time to figure these things out._

"It'll be alright without Jake being here?" Rachel asked me.

 _We can get by one mission without Jake._ I told her but she didn't seem fully convinced.

A few minutes later and Rachel was morphing the cat. This time her ears changed as she shrunk down to cat size. It wasn't until she was the same size as a cat that other changes took place. As she took the form of a cat fur appeared. The last change to happen was the tail.

 _Jake,_ I privately thought-spoke to him as Rachel went to the Chapman house. _Don't die on me._

 _Why would I die?_ Jake asked and I remembered that he didn't know Rachel's true intentions. _Sorry I didn't tell you about the plan, but we all figured that you already knew._

_Didn't happen exactly like this, but I knew what was going on._

And with that all there was to do was wait.

"I don't like this," Mary Graham said, breaking the silence once Rachel was inside the house. "She's an Animorph and we're lying to her."

"She's hiding something," Cassie comforted the girl. "We can't ask her what's wrong and expect her to tell the truth. We had to lie."

But Mary didn't seem totally convinced and just looked at the house. There wasn't much talking after that point as we all waited to see what would happen next.


End file.
